At first, you may have found yourself captivated. The first narcissist you encountered might have even taken your breath away. Perhaps they enchanted someone dear to you—a parent or a close friend. Initially, everything seemed fine. They appeared wonderful until their narcissism began to seep through the cracks, prompting you or your loved one to make justifications for their behavior, blinded by infatuation until it was too late.
Anyone who has genuinely interacted with a narcissist, be it as a child raised by one or as a partner, has likely felt triggered by Trump’s actions over the past few years. His behavior likely conjures haunting memories of manipulation and emotional turmoil. His showmanship is reminiscent of someone who thrives on adoration, someone whose entire identity is anchored in being the center of attention—always adored and always in control.
You instantly recognized Trump for what he is, drawn from your past experiences. It sent a chill down your spine and made your heart race because you understood the potential harm someone like him could inflict. The Mayo Clinic clearly outlines the traits of narcissism, which include:
- An inflated sense of self-importance
- An overwhelming need for admiration
- The desire to be seen as superior without any real achievements to back it up
- Constantly exaggerating personal accomplishments and talents
- An obsession with success and power
- Exploiting others and belittling those they perceive as inferior
- A lack of empathy for others’ feelings and needs
- Arrogance and boastfulness
We could examine each of these characteristics and find examples of how Trump embodies them. He believes he surpasses everyone in every aspect, considers himself smarter than seasoned experts, and shows little regard for the feelings of others. His tendency to spin narratives and gaslight those around him instead of admitting faults is striking. Can you recall a moment when Donald Trump genuinely apologized for a mistake or acknowledged wrongdoing? It simply hasn’t happened. His inability to do so marks him as a classic narcissist, which is why his behavior resonates so deeply with those who have faced the trauma of dealing with a similar personality.
For those of us with such experiences, Trump’s recent actions, particularly as his presidency drew to a close, have been alarming yet predictable. Narcissists struggle to concede defeat; they cannot relinquish control. When abuse is involved, as with Trump’s abuse of power, the situation often escalates as they scramble to maintain their grip.
Just over a week ago, Trump incited violence among his most devoted followers, urging them to “fight much harder” and to “show strength” as they marched on the Capitol. When chaos ensued, rather than denounce the violence, he expressed love for those involved, branding them as “very special people.” This behavior exemplifies how a narcissist can manipulate a devoted base to do their bidding, often with disturbing enthusiasm for the outcomes.
If you’ve dealt with a narcissist before, you’ve witnessed this pattern, albeit perhaps in less extreme forms. You’ve seen how they charm and gaslight to create a false sense of safety around them. You know that the worst may still be ahead. Trump will not exit gracefully; his narcissistic nature prevents him from doing so. He will continue to escalate until someone intervenes. History has shown us that failing to stop a narcissist in power can lead to dire repercussions for years to come.
If you have experience with a narcissist, you’re acutely aware of the danger posed by an injured narcissist’s pride.
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In summary, if you’ve encountered a narcissist before, Trump’s actions will likely resonate with you. His inability to accept defeat and his manipulative tendencies echo the behaviors often seen in narcissists, making his presidency a source of distress for those familiar with such personalities.