Why We Choose to Medicate One of Our Children for ADHD — But Not the Others

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In our household, everyone from my partner to our kids has varying levels of diagnosed ADHD. My partner and I often find ourselves daydreaming or losing track of our belongings. We struggle with remembering important dates and deadlines, yet we can also hyperfocus on activities that interest us. This duality means that we sometimes become so engrossed in what we’re doing that it takes shouting to divert our attention. We tend to develop quirky hobbies that we later abandon. I take the maximum FDA-approved dose of time-release Adderall to cope with daily challenges; otherwise, even sorting mail can feel overwhelming.

When it comes to our children, we’ve adopted different approaches for each. One of our sons absolutely requires medication for the sake of both his well-being and our sanity. Another son functions well without any medication, while our youngest has experienced phases where medication has been beneficial, though we prefer to avoid it if possible. It’s important to remember that ADHD doesn’t automatically necessitate medication. Here’s a breakdown of our decisions regarding each child, all made with the guidance of our pediatrician.

Our Oldest Son: No Medication Needed

From a young age, we recognized that our oldest son had ADHD. He had a notoriously short attention span and jumped from toy to toy at an early age. He was also remarkably loud, often drawing attention from those around us. Although he still tends to be noisy at eleven, his recent obsession with making peculiar sounds and his intense interest in video games like “Star Wars: Battlefront II” can be a challenge, they don’t hinder his daily functioning. He can concentrate on schoolwork, even if it doesn’t interest him, and follows directions well. As high school approaches, we remain open to the idea of medication if it becomes necessary for organization and focus, but for now, he’s doing well without it.

Our Youngest Son: Prescribed Ritalin, But Not Taking It

Our youngest son technically has a prescription for Ritalin, but we choose not to use it. We sought medication during a time when his crying, tantrums, and clinginess were likely more related to the stress of returning to school post-pandemic than to ADHD itself. Generally, he’s an easy-going child, although he is the most prone to throwing fits when screen time is cut off. He can tackle complex mental games, albeit on a screen, which leads to the question: should he be playing chess instead? He resists that idea. We wouldn’t medicate him just because he screams when we take his tablet away, but when his fear of failure led to epic tantrums about schoolwork, we opted for medication. After we saw improvements, we tapered off and found he adjusted well without it. Though he still struggles with writing tasks, it’s more a case of reluctance than perfectionism.

Our Middle Son: In Need of Medication

It’s clear that our middle son requires his medication. Without Focalin, he struggles to focus, and schoolwork leads him into a tailspin of despair and tantrums. At nine years old, he acts younger than his age due to ADHD. When asked to read or do math, he often reacts with distress. If we skip his medication, bedtime becomes chaotic; he screams for snacks or drinks, and he disrupts his brothers’ sleep. It’s exhausting for all of us.

ADHD Is a Unique Journey for Each Individual

ADHD doesn’t always mean a child needs medication, and it can change over time. For our middle son, we initially kept him on Focalin only during the school year, but as his symptoms worsened, we decided to medicate year-round. Each child’s experience with ADHD is unique, and finding the right treatment often involves trial and error. Since both my partner and I are on ADHD medications, we felt fortunate that Focalin works for our son.

Opting for medication doesn’t signify a parental failure or a simple shortcut; it means that a particular child’s action plan calls for it. Recognizing this can help eliminate some of the stigma surrounding ADHD and its treatment. For those interested in learning more about home insemination, check out this blog post. Also, for further reading on boosting fertility, visit this link.

Summary

In this article, we explore the reasons behind our decision to medicate one of our children for ADHD while leaving the others unmedicated. Each child’s journey with ADHD is distinct, requiring tailored approaches based on individual needs and circumstances. We emphasize that medication should not carry stigma and can play a vital role in a child’s success.

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