My home is a whirlwind of attitude, surging emotions, and a constant struggle for control. Rebellion seems to echo off the walls, and the moment you step inside, you can practically feel the tension in the air. Just the other day, I took my youngest son’s phone away because he disagreed with everything I said — it didn’t matter what it was; he simply wanted to argue.
If you’ve ever witnessed a mom driving quietly while her teenager sulks beside her, desperate to escape, you might have wondered why she puts up with it or why that teen seems so disrespectful. Or maybe you are that mom, feeling like no matter how much love you pour into them, it’s as if they’ve doused themselves in some kind of “mom repellent.”
If you’re a mother to teenagers and feel like everyone around you believes you’re failing, that their own kids would never act like yours, and you’re on the verge of losing it, I want you to know that I understand. We are devoted mothers doing our best, navigating a path that seems to invite criticism from those who have never raised a teen.
I’ve changed the WiFi password more times than I can remember. I’ve taken away phones for what feels like ages. I’ve found substances hidden in their rooms, caught them lying, and even had to physically retrieve my son after he tried to sneak out during lockdown. I’ve spent countless hours on the phone with teachers, wrestled with challenging homework, and comforted them through heartbreaks. I’ve taught them to be mindful of others, cared for them through tough times, and rushed out in my pajamas to pick one up after a car accident.
One of my teens has battled anxiety and depression, while another can’t seem to remember to bring dishes down after sneaking food into his room. Yet, despite these challenges, I’ve also witnessed beautiful moments of bonding and support that make me swell with pride.
Teenagers are incredible and resilient, but they can also be utterly draining. There are days when I’m so exhausted that I can hardly think straight. When they neglect their schoolwork, I could do it for them, but I won’t. When they mess up, I could fix it, but that’s not helping them. And when they’re disrespectful, I could ignore it, but I refuse to let it slide. Instead, I choose to engage in the struggle, even if it costs me sleep.
I have to remind myself that I can’t follow them everywhere or live their lives for them. I must allow them to take the lead while realizing my role is to support them. But, goodness, I am so tired. On some days, just stepping out of bed feels like a monumental task, especially when faced with an email about missed assignments or a pile of laundry that seems to grow by the hour.
Teenagers are unique individuals with their own minds, often disregarding the rules. Balancing their independence while ensuring they take responsibility for their choices is a delicate act that drains my spirit.
To all the moms out there, I see you. I understand how difficult this journey is, and just because your kids are going through a rough patch doesn’t mean you aren’t trying or that they won’t find their way. We can only take it one moment at a time, one hour at a time, one day at a time.
So, please, give yourself some grace. Acknowledge that the teenage years truly are the toughest part of parenthood, and there are plenty of us fighting this battle alongside you. If you want to explore more about parenting challenges, check out this post on our blog.
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Summary:
Parenting teens can often feel like an uphill battle, filled with rebellion and exhaustion. Many mothers face daily struggles, from managing arguments to dealing with emotional challenges. It’s essential to remember that you’re not alone in this journey, and acknowledging the tough nature of these years is crucial. Give yourself grace as you navigate the complexities of raising a teenager.