The silver lining (if you really dig deep) of this chaotic pandemic era is that it has helped us recognize what we truly appreciate. Our health, for instance. And let’s not forget about toilet paper. Then there’s the joy of takeout and delivery services—big shoutout to all the delivery heroes out there!
Another thing I’ve come to value—after being cooped up at home with a bunch of kids all day, every day for more than a year—is anything that provides me with some much-needed me-time, stress relief, and happiness. Sometimes, that’s a long, soothing shower. Other times, it’s indulging in a glass (or two) of wine. Or maybe enjoying some alone time with my trusty vibrator. And when I can combine all three—a glass of wine, followed by a long, hot shower, with my waterproof vibrator—oh yes, that’s the ultimate treat.
Our confessional is brimming with women who, like me, understand the value of a good O and just need the aid of a reliable friend (mine is purple) to get there.
“My husband has become so uninspiring in bed that I’d rather just reach for my vibrator and dream about my favorite romance novel characters.”
“I finally understand why older women love vibrators. My arthritis makes it hard to do anything else, and since my husband isn’t interested, I’m grateful for my toy.”
“My husband used to be a passionate lover, but now he’s just silly and awkward. It takes forever for me to get in the mood, so I’m thankful for my vibrator.”
Let’s face it, sex can sometimes feel stale. We’re all growing older, our partners are changing, and what once worked may no longer do the trick.
“I impulsively bought my first sex toy today—a bullet vibrator! My husband and I are on antidepressants, and his interest has vanished, but I still crave intimacy. It’s hard to go solo, but I wanted to share my excitement!”
“I’m 40 and just purchased my first vibrator! I feel so empowered. I refuse to depend on my husband, who seems oblivious to my needs.”
“My husband forgot two of my last three birthdays. This year, I’m treating myself to a clit-sucking vibrator, using his credit card!”
“After a mellow holiday, I’m looking forward to three nights alone while my husband is away. Merry Christmas to me!”
No matter the occasion—birthdays, holidays, or just an ordinary Tuesday—don’t hesitate to pamper yourself with a new toy. You deserve it.
“I really need quality time with my vibrator, but with everyone at home during COVID, it’s hard to find a moment alone.”
“I wish I could tell my son to stop swiping my vibrator, but he’s too young to understand what it is. Ugh.”
“As a single working mom, weekends fly by, and I finally get some relaxation time. But my son comes in crying about me dying while I’m just trying to enjoy my vibrator!”
We all know kids can be “cock-blockers,” but they can also interrupt a woman’s moment of bliss.
“I took the batteries out of the thermometer to power my vibrator for a little lunchtime me-time. Sorry, not sorry!”
“I booked a hotel just for myself—wine, trashy movies, and my favorite vibrator. I need a night to unwind without any distractions!”
“My husband is back in the office for the first time in over a month. Hallelujah! I can finally enjoy some quality time with my vibrator!”
“Home alone with the kids away on a camping trip? Cue the porn, my vibrator, and some serious me-time!”
Booking a hotel room for peace and quiet is worth every penny. I love my family dearly, but time alone is crucial for my sanity!
Whether you manage to carve out ten minutes or a whole weekend away, self-care is vital. Just remember to bring extra batteries for that trusty companion!
Whether you’re new to the world of vibrators or have a collection that could fill a drawer, make sure you prioritize your relaxation, recharge, and pleasure. They say a dog is a man’s best friend, but we all know what a woman’s best friend truly is.
For more on the journey of home insemination, check out this insightful piece here. And for a trusted guide on fertility, visit this resource.
Summary
In this lighthearted piece, we explore the newfound appreciation for personal pleasure during the pandemic. Women share their experiences with vibrators as a source of joy and relief amidst the challenges of family life. Whether it’s indulging in self-care or finding time away from the kids, the importance of prioritizing one’s needs shines through. Embrace the journey of self-satisfaction and don’t hesitate to treat yourself.