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Why I Prepare Individual Meals for My Children Each Evening
by Sarah Thompson
Updated: April 6, 2021
Originally Published: Feb. 26, 2021
Like many parents, I enjoy cooking a wholesome meal for my family almost every night. In fact, it’s one of my favorite parenting activities. The stresses of the day seem to fade away while I’m busy in the kitchen. My kids aren’t keen on helping, which is fine, and my partner uses this time to bond with them after work, giving me a few moments to unwind.
Once the main dish is ready, I grab three divided plates and think about what my kids will eat. Most evenings, I can adapt portions of the main meal to suit them, but there are times when I find myself preparing four different meals for five people.
I know many parents staunchly oppose this approach. I’ve heard comments like, “I’m not a short-order cook. You’ll eat what I make or go without.” And while that approach works for some families, I used to have similar rules too. We had a system where the kids needed to try two bites, and if they didn’t like what I made, they could choose from approved alternatives. I still believe that was a good strategy, but it hasn’t been effective for us lately.
Over time, I found it necessary to adjust to my children’s unique needs. Here’s why my approach of preparing separate meals feels right for our family.
1. Each of my three kids has specific needs that I aim to meet.
My eldest is generally open to trying new foods but struggles with a recurring gastrointestinal issue that makes certain meals uncomfortable for him. My middle son is autistic and is working to overcome food aversions related to textures and flavors. If we push too hard, he ends up eating very little. Lastly, my youngest is just a year old and is currently at the bottom of the growth chart, needing consistent nourishment regardless of her preferences.
2. I don’t always want to eat what my children will accept.
Given that my kids have distinct food preferences, it’s challenging for me to create a meal that satisfies everyone. As adults, my partner and I crave variety in our meals, and we often don’t desire a meal that caters solely to children’s tastes.
3. I don’t feel any frustration about it.
If I didn’t have valid reasons, preparing different meals might annoy me. But cooking is a joy for me, and I’ve come to realize that there are countless ways to cultivate adventurous eaters who enjoy various foods.
4. I recognize the privilege involved in making separate dinners.
I am incredibly fortunate to have access to a diverse range of nutritious foods. Many families around the world struggle to feed their children, and I’m grateful for the ability to prepare different meals without complaint.
5. I want my children to know their preferences matter.
I don’t prioritize the idea of eating whatever is served without considering personal feelings. As an adult, I have the freedom to choose what I eat, and I want my kids to learn to listen to their bodies and respect their tastes instead of forcing down meals they don’t enjoy.
6. I don’t believe they’ll miss important lessons.
We still teach our children about nutrition, the importance of trying new things, and being polite about food. We encourage our kids to taste new dishes and explain why a variety of foods is essential for their health. They understand that declining food outside of home means they might go hungry until they return.
As my children grow, they may become more open to different foods, just like their dad did when he was younger. My older kids are already trying new things regularly. Perhaps my willingness to prepare separate meals has encouraged this, or maybe it’s just part of their growth. Regardless, this is how we handle mealtime now, and I’m unsure if I’ll ever change my approach. As long as we gather at the same table, the contents of our plates are secondary.
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Summary: This article discusses the author’s approach to preparing separate meals for her children, highlighting the individual dietary needs of each child, the joy of cooking, and the recognition of privilege in meal preparation. By accommodating her children’s preferences, the author aims to foster a positive relationship with food while teaching them essential lessons about nutrition and respect for their tastes.