Recently, I learned from a fellow mom that as a parent of a special needs child (or rather, two), I qualified for the COVID-19 vaccine in our state’s 1-A group. The news brought me to tears. A COVID-19 vaccine would open avenues for my children, allowing us to venture out safely when they wear masks and maintain social distance. It meant we could enjoy some semblance of normalcy again. Since March 13, 2020, my husband and I, both with preexisting conditions, have been in constant isolation. Being vaccinated could transform our family’s life.
I quickly reached out to every mom I knew in similar situations. “You’re 1-A!” I told them, sharing links and screenshots from our state’s health department. For many, like me, the realization was emotional. Yet, one mom responded, “What’s 1-A?”
Some Friends Refused the Vaccine
When I explained, “You’re 1-A, meaning you’re among the first to get vaccinated!” she replied with a laughing emoji, “Oh, we’re not interested.” My heart sank. This woman, whom I respected and valued, was opting out of a vaccine that could save lives, protect the vulnerable, and significantly reduce mortality rates in minority communities. It’s already making a difference for our senior citizens and preventing severe conditions like MIS-C in children.
The safety information provided by the government, Pfizer, and Moderna is transparent and easily accessible online. Yet, she was still refusing the vaccine. Then another friend, someone I genuinely admire for her kindness and resilience, also declined. I was devastated.
The Consequences of Canceling Friends
Yes, if either of them is reading this, they know who they are. While publicly canceling someone may seem harsh, I feel compelled to issue a warning. If you’re my friend and you choose to remain unvaccinated, you’re effectively no longer in my circle. We can maintain a polite nod or a brief conversation, but I can’t consider you a friend anymore. Playdates for our children? Not happening. You might as well unfriend me now before I do.
I’ve watched friends throw caution to the wind, hosting gatherings while our state faced some of the highest COVID-19 rates in the nation. I’ve seen pleas for playdates while my children cried in isolation. My son even distanced himself from a friend because he felt she wasn’t taking the virus seriously enough.
There’s only one exception: If you have a legitimate medical reason preventing you from getting vaccinated, I’m getting vaccinated to protect you. However, doubts about vaccine safety are not legitimate reasons. I’ve discussed vaccine myths extensively, linking to reliable information about safety and the realities of vaccine injury. You can find this information easily, including clinical trial data and vaccine transparency guidelines.
According to the CDC, severe reactions occur in only 11.1 patients per million vaccinated.
Why I Choose to Cancel Those Who Refuse Vaccination
When individuals refuse vaccination, they are choosing not to save lives—real lives. This often comes from a place of privilege. When people resist vaccination, they inadvertently signal that the lives of others, particularly in marginalized communities, don’t matter. Data shows that Black individuals are 3.7 times more likely to be hospitalized and 2.8 times more likely to die from COVID-19 compared to white individuals. Other communities of color face even higher risks. Declining the vaccine looks glaringly privileged.
The more people get vaccinated, the more we slow the pandemic. Each shot saves lives, especially when sending kids to school or engaging in social interactions. When you refuse the vaccine, you jeopardize the health of those with preexisting conditions—like my husband and me.
I’ve witnessed the heartbreaking journey of a Facebook friend whose child suffered from MIS-C. As a mother, I empathize deeply. When you choose not to vaccinate, it feels as if you disregard the suffering of those like her. It’s infuriating, especially when I only observe their struggles online.
Refusing the COVID-19 vaccine is a decision rooted in misinformation and ignorance, perpetuating a cycle of privilege that harms the vulnerable. The pandemic has already taken so much from us, and it’s clear some friendships will not survive this.
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- COVID-19 vaccine safety
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In summary, the decision to refuse a COVID-19 vaccine carries significant implications, not just for individuals but for the entire community. As we navigate this pandemic, the choices we make will shape our lives and the lives of others in profound ways.