Menu Lifestyle
You Bet Your A** I’ve Got a Chip on My Shoulder by Jennifer Otto
Updated: March 1, 2021
Originally Published: March 1, 2021
At this stage in my life, it’s clear that I’m not everyone’s favorite person. Sarcasm is practically my second language, and I might drop a curse word or two more often than what some would deem appropriate.
Recently, a former acquaintance remarked that I “always have a chip on my shoulder.” It’s a bit tricky to use a personal essay to argue against that when my main goal is to vent. So instead, let’s acknowledge that chip and dive into an old-fashioned cathartic session of grievances. I’ve been holding onto some frustrations for far too long, and it’s time to let them out, folks!
Let the Chips Fall Where They May
Back in third grade, there was this girl – let’s call her Lily. I had just moved to Ohio from Virginia, and instead of welcoming me, Lily decided to spread negativity. Yep, third-grade drama: “I’m just sooo amazing,” she said, as if my charming Southern accent was the only thing making me interesting.
And to my third-grade teacher – thanks for making me redo an entire autobiography because your instructions were too vague for a nine-year-old like me. I cried for hours over that project.
Oh, and in the same year, a little brat mocked me for not having cash to buy ice cream at lunch.
Fast forward to fourth grade, when the Beanie Babies craze hit. Lily and her crew flaunted their massive collections while I had a mere ten. Sure, I was a tad envious, but honestly, who needs that kind of bragging? I hope they’re still waiting for those toys to become priceless.
In fifth grade, all the popular girls were getting their nails done every month, and I just wanted to fit in too.
And my fifth-grade teacher – I wasn’t behind in reading because I was lazy; it was because you assigned us to read some boring stuff from 1877.
In sixth grade, I remember girls giggling on the other side of the door during my first “real” kiss. I could have done without that!
Middle school was just as bad. Who decided that seventh graders had to sit at the front of the bus while eighth graders lounged in the back? Sitting back there was the ultimate status symbol.
High school was a whole different ballgame. Let’s talk about the jerk jocks. There was one who bullied a gay classmate until he brought a gun to school. Another one hit my boyfriend’s car and then tried to start a fight. I’m still holding onto some pretty bad feelings from those years.
Oh, and there was that time my former best friend tried to pick a fight with me in the hallway when we could’ve just talked it out!
Not to mention my high school guidance counselor, who insisted I choose a vocational path or risk falling behind in college. I ended up spending two years in a graphic design course that I loathed, only to major in something completely different in college.
“I’ve Got a Lot of Problems With You People, And Now You’re Gonna Hear About It”
Who needs a holiday to air grievances?
- Guy Who Complained About Onions on His Sandwich – This was eight years ago, and I still think you could’ve just removed them yourself.
- Woman Who Corrected Me in 2009 – I was a hostess and cheerfully asked, “Just one today?” You made a big deal to my manager about how this could hurt feelings. Seriously?
- Stylist Who Convinced Me to Get Bangs – There’s a reason you’re still at that low-budget salon.
- Saleswoman at Plato’s Closet – Who are you to judge my Aeropostale jeans that I’ve kept for seven years? I wore them twice!
- Maternity Store Saleswoman – I know you don’t work on commission, so stop pushing expensive items on me; I’m already stressed about finances.
And Dairy Queen, where’s the Oreos in my large Blizzard? I’m paying $4.69 for less than what I ordered!
So, yeah, maybe I’m harboring a few grudges after all. Who knew?
My former acquaintance who pointed out that chip on my shoulder – I guess you’re the one to blame!
For more insights on similar experiences, you can check out this post about home insemination. If you’re looking for expert advice, Make a Mom offers a great selection of fertility boosters. Additionally, Rmany is an excellent resource for pregnancy and home insemination topics.
Summary
In this engaging essay, the author reflects on various grievances accumulated throughout her life, from childhood to adulthood. With a mix of sarcasm and honesty, she addresses moments of insecurity and frustration, ultimately embracing the “chip on her shoulder” as part of her identity.