As a mom, I’ve always known my son was exceptional. From his early days, he was articulate, speaking in complete sentences well before his first birthday. By the time he was one, he could identify letters and numbers with ease. His IQ tested at 130, but the evaluator suggested it might be even higher, as he lost interest halfway through the assessment and began guessing. His verbal score was an astonishing 160, surpassing even Mensa’s standards — a record for her. He’s now 12, and it’s truly remarkable.
However, his unique traits come with challenges. He exhibits many characteristics of Asperger’s syndrome but doesn’t meet the official criteria. At school, he’s the go-to kid for answers, showcasing his intelligence, yet his social skills are lacking. He often fixates on subjects that don’t resonate with his peers and can drone on about them, making it difficult for him to connect with other children.
In his younger years, his precociousness charmed adults. They loved engaging with him, enjoying his knowledge of topics like politics — quite surprising for a toddler. He even appeared on the news at four, captivating viewers with his insights. Yet, once he started school, things took a turn. While adults would listen to his extensive knowledge, other kids quickly lost interest and walked away.
As he has grown older, the situation has worsened. Peers have become increasingly unkind, mocking him for being intelligent and for his tendency to speak at length. His small stature and lack of athleticism only added to the difficulties. In a small school where sports were paramount, he often felt out of place. Gym class was particularly tough, leading to frustration and anger — he once even knocked over a desk.
I refuse to have him dim his light for the comfort of others. It’s infuriating that he struggles to find acceptance. We had to transfer him from his small Catholic school to a larger one in 7th grade. Initially, I was anxious about the change, but I also saw it as an opportunity for a fresh start — a chance for him to be seen as just a quirky kid rather than a label.
Things progressed well at first. He found a few friends to play Minecraft with and occasionally text. However, due to the pandemic, the social landscape was limited, and when he lost phone privileges for a week, I discovered he had no text messages at all. My heart shattered for him; the isolation must be painful.
I see so much potential in him, but it’s disheartening to witness others overlook his worth. While he is my brilliant son, he is also a child with feelings and a desire for connection. His intelligence, a gift, can also feel like a burden.
I’ve talked to his teachers and the school counselor, who assure me he’s doing well academically and is well-liked by adults. My biggest concern remains whether he feels included during lunch and breaks. Thankfully, he does appear to have made some connections at school.
I hold on to the hope that he will eventually find his place among peers who appreciate him for who he is. In two years, he has a chance to join a high school with a strong STEM program, which I believe will be the right environment for him to thrive socially. I pray every day that he finds friends there who share his quirks and passions.
As a parent, I’ll always worry about my children. I’ll encourage them to embrace their unique gifts and navigate through these challenging years, believing there’s a reward waiting at the end. Think of those who were once considered odd — like Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, and Mark Zuckerberg. They turned their uniqueness into greatness. I can’t wait for my son to find his tribe and make his mark on the world, and I’ll be there to cheer him on, with my middle finger raised to those who never gave him a chance.
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Summary:
I’m a mother raising a remarkably gifted son who struggles with making friends due to his unique traits and interests. His intelligence, while a blessing, often leads to social challenges, especially in school. Despite the difficulties, I remain hopeful that he will find his place among peers who appreciate him. I believe that his future is bright, especially with the upcoming opportunity for a STEM-focused high school.