As a girl who navigated puberty without a maternal figure, I vividly recall how unprepared I felt. I got my first period unexpectedly at school and was completely thrown off by it. I managed to inform my teacher, but not without feeling embarrassed and shaken. My father did his best to help me through the process, but I was determined to provide my daughter with a more supportive experience as she grows.
To prepare her for the changes ahead, I initially turned to books like “Amazing You” by Gail Saltz, which became a fantastic resource during her early childhood. However, I recently felt it was time to upgrade our reading materials, so I picked up “The Care and Keeping of You” by Valorie Schaefer, a title that has long been popular among parents.
My first impression was mixed, particularly with how the book presented topics like crushes on boys as if they were universal truths. While I remember having crushes at an early age, my daughter isn’t there yet, and I found it concerning that the book assumes every young girl will feel the same way. It completely overlooks the diversity of sexual orientations and attractions that exist.
Moreover, the book’s treatment of body image issues felt overly simplistic. It assumes that all girls will grapple with body dissatisfaction, which is not universally true. As someone who struggled with an eating disorder in my youth, I have worked hard to instill body positivity in my daughter. I’m uncomfortable providing her with a resource that suggests it’s normal to dislike one’s body.
Overall, the content felt outdated and lacked inclusivity. This realization prompted me to seek alternatives, leading me to “Celebrate Your Body” by Sonya Renee Taylor, which focuses on self-care without the weight of societal expectations. It addresses friendships and romantic feelings more holistically, making it a better fit for today’s diverse youth.
While “The Care and Keeping of You” may have been the go-to guide for our generation, it hasn’t evolved alongside our understanding of gender and sexuality. Parents often continue to buy it simply because it’s familiar, but there are now better options available that promote a broader understanding of identity and self-acceptance. Remember to engage with your child as they explore these topics and answer any questions they may have along the way.
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Summary
In the quest to educate our daughters about puberty and self-acceptance, it’s essential to choose resources that reflect modern values and inclusivity. “The Care and Keeping of You” falls short in these areas, assuming a one-size-fits-all approach to crushes and body image. Thankfully, alternatives like “Celebrate Your Body” provide a more positive and comprehensive perspective.