Spending hours online, primarily for work, has led me to countless personal narratives. While many fade from memory, the story of Jake and Mia Bennett stood out, taking me on an unexpected journey. In 1961, Jake and Mia were young lovers, reveling in their teenage years until they discovered they were expecting a child. In a bid to shield their family’s reputation, Mia’s parents sent her to a maternity home for unwed mothers, where she remained until her baby was born and placed for adoption. Jake managed to visit a few times, even meeting their daughter on her birth day. Soon after, Jake enlisted in the military, and when he returned, he proposed to Mia, who accepted, but their union faced disapproval from her parents. Ultimately, Jake and Mia parted ways (and let’s just say Mia’s parents were out of line).
Fast forward 53 years, Jake and Mia reunited, tied the knot, and found their daughter with the assistance of Lutheran Social Services. It’s astonishing this hasn’t been made into a podcast yet, but what lingered in my mind was how mothers and children were hidden from society and forcibly separated. 1961 wasn’t that long ago. How widespread was this practice? Do maternity homes still exist today?
In her poignant book, The Girls Who Went Away, author Ann Fessler shares the experiences of predominantly middle-class, white women who were sent to maternity homes. In the two decades leading up to the legalization of abortion, nearly 1.5 million unwed mothers were compelled to give birth and relinquish their children for adoption. Families were embarrassed by their “morally corrupt” daughters, who faced the consequences of getting pregnant out of wedlock, all while fathers faced no similar repercussions. Throughout the 1950s, medical professionals argued that unwed mothers were unfit to raise children, asserting that their babies should be taken away.
By the mid-1960s, over 80% of women entering maternity homes surrendered their babies for adoption, often persuaded by social workers, families, and court decisions that it was best for both mother and child. Additionally, the systemic racism within these institutions meant that unwed Black mothers were not sent to these homes due to stereotypes regarding their perceived promiscuity and assumed maternal instincts. Both Black and white unwed mothers were misled by social workers, who claimed that no one wanted to adopt Black infants. All mothers faced significant injustices, albeit for different reasons.
Today, there is greater recognition of various gender identities among those capable of pregnancy, yet discussions surrounding reproductive rights still primarily focus on cisgender women. While cis women have been the focal point, transgender men and nonbinary individuals confront similar challenges. Despite the Roe v. Wade ruling, decisions regarding contraception, pregnancy, and abortion remain largely influenced by societal stigma and usually dominated by cisgender men. Instead of receiving support, many women are shamed and pushed into choices that don’t align with their genuine needs and desires.
Maternity homes still operate today, but thankfully, many now serve as safe havens for individuals facing unwelcoming or unsafe living situations. These facilities provide shelter, food, and support to women who may choose to keep their babies or opt for adoption—ultimately leaving the choice in their hands. However, many of these homes are faith-based, often excluding the option of abortion. Facilities like LifeHouse of Houston offer classes on labor and delivery, financial planning, and job skills training. While daily routines may be strict and often rooted in religious principles, women entering these homes are aware of what they are committing to. Across Texas, there are 20 maternity homes, with approximately 350 nationwide, many of which maintain lengthy waiting lists.
Although women today may have more agency than in the 1960s, the existence of waiting lists for maternity homes highlights ongoing societal failures. Sexual education in the United States remains inadequate, with only 30 states plus the District of Columbia mandating it in schools. The content provided to students is often lacking, emphasizing abstinence while neglecting comprehensive discussions about consent. Only 11 states offer sex education that is inclusive of LGBTQIA+ perspectives. While the CDC notes a decline in teen pregnancy rates, they still remain significantly higher than in other developed nations, with persisting racial and economic disparities.
No expectant parent should feel pressured, shamed, or forced into decisions regarding their child due to a lack of family support or equitable societal structures. Maternity homes should never have existed for their original intent, and it’s disheartening that they continue to operate, albeit for more benevolent reasons. Stigma, religious influence, and racism still dominate the landscape, restricting autonomy over reproductive choices.
I’m grateful for the happy conclusion to Jake and Mia’s story, including their reunion with their daughter. However, much pain and trauma could have been averted had Mia’s autonomy been respected. Every pregnant person deserves clear, safe options when considering their path to parenthood, just as those who do not wish to become parents should have the same clarity. These choices are deeply personal and should not be subjected to public debate.
For further insights into pregnancy and home insemination, check out this excellent resource from Parents.
Search Queries:
- home insemination kit
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- maternity homes today
- pregnancy support resources
- adoption processes
Summary:
Maternity homes, originally created to hide unwed mothers, still exist today but have evolved to offer support and refuge for pregnant individuals. While some progress has been made in recognizing diverse identities and improving autonomy, systemic issues remain, highlighting the need for better sexual education and equitable societal structures. The stories of individuals like Jake and Mia serve as poignant reminders of the importance of respecting personal choices regarding parenthood.