My teenage daughter binge-watched “Ginny and Georgia” until past midnight last night, and she’s still fast asleep as I write this, even though it’s nearly 11 a.m. Since she doesn’t have a Zoom call for another half hour, I’m letting her enjoy her rest.
The state of my kids’ rooms looks like a tornado swept through—clothes strewn everywhere, and my son is on day three in the same outfit. I’m fairly certain they’re brushing their teeth at least once a day, but I wouldn’t bet on it.
A year ago, when the pandemic first hit, I thought it would be over in a few weeks, just like many others. Once I got my head out of the sand and the kids started virtual learning, I made an effort to keep life as normal as possible for them. I did it for their sake, but also for my own sanity.
I needed to maintain a routine and stay organized. I wanted to be focused, not lose traction in my parenting or life. I kept their bedtimes consistent, encouraged them to wake up at reasonable hours, and made family dinners. I tried to act like everything was fine, while I was terrified inside.
I resisted letting go of chores, meal prep, and my kids’ hygiene or screen time. But eventually, I burned out. I had no choice but to loosen my grip, and things spiraled out of control. Housework went undone, bedtimes became lax, and I allowed my kids to keep their devices in their rooms late into the night.
This is what happens when you try to force a sense of normalcy in an abnormal situation—everything unravels. And it doesn’t just happen gradually; it’s a sudden collapse. I won’t deny it felt somewhat liberating.
Embracing the Chaos
As parents, trying to maintain the status quo for our kids is an impossible task right now. They’re not in school full time—if at all. They’re isolated, missing out on activities they once enjoyed, and we’re expected to manage it all and keep them on track.
How is that even feasible?
It’s a monumental challenge to achieve for yourself, let alone for your children. The New York Times published an article noting that kids are watching more television during the pandemic, raising concerns among addiction specialists and pediatricians. This kind of criticism is something parents certainly didn’t ask for.
I’m a parent to three teenagers, and if anyone tries to shame me for our current situation, they’ll get an earful. Experts interviewed by USA Today offered parents valuable advice on navigating this pandemic: simply be there for your kids and support them.
Dr. Lisa Greene, a child psychologist, emphasizes that children can endure significant hardships like divorce or loss, and emerge well-adjusted if they have supportive figures around them. I can do this—I can support my kids. But I absolutely cannot hold myself to the unrealistic standard of maintaining normalcy or ensuring they eat perfectly balanced meals or limit their screen time.
They need comfort, too. Their phones are their lifeline to others beyond our family. If my son wants to indulge in three bowls of Cocoa Puffs and run around barefoot—even in the snow—I’m okay with that.
We all need support and comfort during this time. What we definitely don’t need is criticism for not being able to keep everything normal when the world is anything but.
If that means I skip dinner prep and let my kids immerse themselves in video games for hours after completing their schoolwork, so be it.
Further Resources
If you’re interested in further exploring topics on home insemination, you might find it helpful to check out some of our other blog posts, including one on intracervical insemination. For more resources, Make-A-Mom offers authoritative information on these subjects, and Johns Hopkins Medicine provides excellent resources for pregnancy and home insemination.