As an Asian-American woman, I often find myself grappling with the unsettling question of why there seems to be animosity towards us from some white men. The recent tragedy in Atlanta, where a 21-year-old white man took the lives of eight individuals, including six Asian women, struck a deep chord within me. I didn’t expect the emotional toll to be so heavy.
While I’ve written extensively about the rise in anti-Asian violence, I hadn’t shed a tear until now. I’ve seen the impact of racism on beloved figures like the members of BTS, and I thought I had built up a resilience to these harsh realities. Sadly, it’s evident that the cruelty of racism, particularly from white America, is persistent and ugly. For too long, many of us have comforted ourselves with the illusion of safety, but now we must confront a harsh truth: we are not safe.
Questioning the Roots of Violence
In my moments of clarity, I find myself pondering: what drives certain white men to commit such violence against us? Despite understanding that the fault lies not with us but with them, I still feel the weight of societal narratives that paint us as lesser. My friend rephrased my original question, suggesting we should instead ask: “What is it about white men that incites such violence towards us?” This reframing is crucial; the issue lies with them, not with our identities.
My own experiences with online harassment from white nationalists, ignited by a previous article I wrote, only amplify my frustrations. I faced threats and ridicule simply for asserting my right to choose who I allow into my life. This type of behavior is not new; marginalized communities have been voicing these concerns for years, yet it seems to fall on deaf ears.
The Impact on Vulnerable Communities
Let’s focus on the real issue: the most vulnerable within our communities—elders, women, and small business owners—are facing a staggering rise in hate crimes. A recent report from STOP AAPI HATE noted nearly 3,800 incidents against Asian Americans in just one year, with Asian women being disproportionately affected.
We cannot ignore that this rise in hate also impacts other communities of color, including Jewish, Black, Brown, Indigenous, and Middle Eastern individuals. However, I’m exhausted from discussing anti-Asian violence. The statistics, while important, can feel overwhelming and dehumanizing. I don’t want to be a mere statistic; I refuse to reduce my pain to a number that might evoke sympathy.
Fears of Complacency
There’s a worry that as society becomes desensitized to anti-Asian violence, our stories may fade into the background. I fear that if the violence decreases, we may retreat into complacency, back to a state of apathy. This ongoing struggle makes me question whether anyone truly cares about our plight, not just because we are Asian, but because America has a long history of neglecting people of color.
I wish I could wrap this reflection in a neat conclusion, offering solutions and hope. However, I find myself in tears, confronting the harsh reality of our existence.
Further Reading
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