Welcome to our advice column, where our team provides insight on various life topics, including parenting, relationships, and more. This week, we’re addressing a common dilemma: how to cope with the feeling of guilt when engaging in playtime with your little ones is just not your cup of tea.
Dear Home Insemination Kit,
As a stay-at-home mom to my two kids, ages five and three, I feel like I should be playing with them since I’m with them all day. However, I genuinely dread it. My daughter takes charge during playtime, dictating every detail, while my son insists on games that require me to crawl around or chase him—activities I’ve never enjoyed, even as a child. It’s not that I don’t want to bond with them; it’s just that the type of interaction they want feels draining. This leads to a wave of guilt because I know I shouldn’t feel this way. What should I do?
I completely understand where you’re coming from. My own children are older now, but when they were younger, playing was not something I cherished. You’re definitely not alone in this sentiment—many parents feel the same way. It can be quite draining when your child expects you to take on a specific role in their imaginative games, especially when all you can think about is the mess on the floor or how sore your knees are from crawling around.
One of the first strategies I discovered was to find activities I could tolerate and even enjoy. For instance, my kids had a doctor kit. I would lie back on their bed while they pretended to give me check-ups with their plastic tools. I could relax for a bit while they were entertained! Playing “restaurant” was another favorite; I simply sat back and let them serve me Goldfish crackers from their toy kitchen. I also enjoyed being the canvas for their creativity, where they painted on my back with dry brushes while I guessed their drawings. It allowed me to engage without feeling overwhelmed.
Another approach was to involve other family members who enjoyed playtime more than I did. I was fortunate to have a fun uncle in the family who loved to engage in active play and a partner who could handle the rough-and-tumble games. So, yes, I definitely allowed them to take over the play duties!
Lastly, I found ways to spend quality time with my kids that didn’t revolve around play. Simple activities like going for walks, baking together, or reading books could be just as fulfilling. Kids just want your time and presence; it doesn’t have to be about playing. Trust me, my lack of playtime didn’t harm my bond with my kids, and we’re close today.
Remember, it’s the time you spend together that matters most, not the specific activities you do.
For more information on home insemination and related topics, check out this excellent resource on pregnancy.