I realized I had a problem when I started using meditation as a way to juggle multiple tasks. Encouraged by friends who swore by apps like Calm and Headspace, I eagerly joined the meditation trend during the chaos of 2020, hoping it would help me reconnect with the “center” I had lost under heaps of laundry, stacks of dirty dishes, constant Zoom calls with my kids, my own work commitments, and the incessant reminders from our cat that his bowl was empty once again. However, as a soothing British voice guided me to breathe and let my thoughts drift, I found myself simultaneously planning dinner, contemplating which Netflix series to watch next, and keeping an ear out for any potential squabbles or injuries from my kids in the other room. By the time the session concluded, I checked “Meditate” off my mental list but felt just as uncentered as before.
It’s a well-worn stereotype that moms are perpetually tired, but I was genuinely exhausted. Often I felt tired yet happy, sometimes tired and stressed, occasionally tired and frustrated—but tired was the constant. With my kids sleeping well, out of diapers, and capable of managing several tasks independently, my level of fatigue at the end of the day didn’t seem justified.
Then it dawned on me: perhaps my constant exhaustion stemmed from my habit of multitasking. Most of the time, my body was engaged in one activity while my mind was preoccupied with another. Even in moments when both were aligned, like replying to emails, I was rapidly switching between messages from work, my children’s school, friends, and persistent political campaigns. No wonder I was drained by 6 PM.
Recently, I made a change and rediscovered the art of “single-tasking.” This approach involves focusing on one task at a time until it’s finished—a skill that might feel familiar from the days before parenting. For example, when I sat down to check work emails, I limited myself to just those emails and ignored everything else. More crucially, when spending time with my kids, I aimed to stay mentally present instead of mentally racing ahead to what needed to be done next.
As a parent, I know it’s not feasible to single-task all the time, and many of my attempts are often interrupted. However, each time I manage to focus, I notice tasks are completed more efficiently and effectively due to my undivided attention. When that task involves quality time with my kids or my partner, we all feel happier and more relaxed, simply by prioritizing each other. Physically, I also feel less fatigued. While the tiredness hasn’t vanished completely, for my brain, single-tasking serves as a refreshing power nap.
Many of us moms wear our multitasking abilities like a badge of honor, and rightly so, as the female brain is indeed a powerhouse. Yet, there’s a fine line between effective multitasking and pushing ourselves to the brink of burnout. After coming perilously close to that line this past year, I’m now taking steps in the right direction, one task at a time.
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Summary:
Exhausted from relentless multitasking, I discovered the benefits of single-tasking, which has helped me prioritize activities and reduce fatigue. By focusing on one task at a time, whether it’s responding to emails or spending quality time with my family, I’ve found that I am more efficient and less tired overall. While it’s challenging to maintain this approach consistently, every successful attempt brings me closer to a more balanced and energized life.