If you have a friend (or maybe you are that friend) who constantly brings up their Peloton, you’re not alone. The reality is, most of us don’t want to hear about it. While we’re excited for our Peloton-enthusiast friends who have hit new personal records, finally outran Marjorie from New Jersey, or completed their 100th ride, we secretly wish they had someone else to share their achievements with. That’s where Jimmy Kimmel’s “Teloton” comes in—a fictional phone service where you can brag about your Peloton experiences to someone who is paid to listen.
About the Skit
In the skit titled “Teloton – Because You Won’t Shut Up About Your Stupid Bike,” we meet a character named “Jake” who goes on and on about his Peloton escapades, from his impressive quad gains to sweating in unusual places. He shares his latest workout milestones, but even the Teloton operator struggles to maintain her enthusiasm.
The Teloton listener starts by congratulating Jake on his accomplishments, pretending to care about the fact that he burned 400 calories in 20 minutes. However, her facade quickly begins to fade as she starts repeating phrases like, “Yeah, you mentioned that,” while casually snacking at her desk, clearly unimpressed. Meanwhile, Jake is oblivious, excitedly speculating about their budding friendship. “Do you pay $40 a month to talk to your friends?” she retorts.
As Jake rambles on about his top 12 instructors “not in alphabetical order,” the Teloton operator reaches her breaking point. “No. Forget this,” she exclaims, ripping off her headset and confronting Jake directly. She shoves him off the bike, declaring, “No one cares about your stupid bike!” Anyone who has endured endless Peloton discussions can relate to this moment.
The Impact of Peloton
Kimmel pointed out that Peloton sales have surged by 172% since the pandemic began, providing many people with a way to exercise from home. While this is fantastic for individual health, sharing every minute detail of your workouts (or the latest MLM you’re involved with) can be draining for others. It’s a shame this sketch isn’t a real service, as many of us would happily offload our friends to it.
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Conclusion
In summary, the “Teloton” skit humorously captures the frustration of listening to someone endlessly brag about their Peloton achievements. While it’s great that people are finding joy in their fitness journeys, sometimes it’s best to keep the details to oneself, as not everyone shares the same enthusiasm.