On February 26th, 2020, at 6:30 PM, my first child made her entrance into the world, weighing 8 lbs 10 oz and measuring 22 inches long. She marked the end of our long infertility journey, which had culminated in a successful IVF frozen transfer. Growing up as one of five children raised by a single father, my struggles with infertility fueled a deep desire to nurture and be a mother.
The nine months leading up to the arrival of little Mia were packed with a whirlwind of emotions. I’ll never forget the moment during our 24-hour induction when our doctor hurriedly untangled the umbilical cord that was tightly wrapped around Mia’s neck, unintentionally fracturing her clavicle. The silence in the delivery room was tangible, and the overwhelming relief in my partner’s eyes when we finally heard her cry is a memory I cherish.
After a brief hospital stay, we returned home feeling grateful yet anxious. Just as we began to adapt to life as a family of three, Minnesota enforced its first stay-at-home order. We quickly adjusted to this new reality, mourning the loss of shared moments with family and friends who were eager to meet Mia. We found ourselves meticulously sanitizing groceries, isolating at home, and taking turns discussing our imagined symptoms of illness.
During my 16-week maternity leave, I often gazed at Mia, captivated by her presence. Yet, alongside the joy of new motherhood, I grappled with an overwhelming sense of fear and uncertainty. Each morning, I tuned into Andrew Cuomo’s COVID updates, and even caught Chris Cuomo’s late-night broadcasts during 2 AM feedings. I became deeply invested in Minnesota’s public health briefings, feeling a mix of excitement during stabilization and frustration at the peaks of case numbers.
Tears came easily when my pediatrician reassured me in early May that “COVID hasn’t broken Mia,” especially after I expressed worries about her social development delays due to the lack of outings. I cried in the car after that appointment, realizing we were only at the start of navigating life in a pandemic. I felt guilty for struggling with my maternity leave, knowing how fortunate I was to be on paid leave. The isolation and fear of raising a newborn during such a tumultuous time weighed heavily on me.
While COVID shaped my first year of motherhood, I’ve slowly learned it’s okay to feel this way. I have a healthy baby, and as my maternity leave has ended, I’ve found a new sense of tranquility after facing challenges I never expected. Although friends and family haven’t been able to hold Mia close yet, I know they love her as they love me—and that is what truly matters.
Our path to Mia was filled with uncertainty, yet I reflect on our infertility journey with gratitude for the support and love we received. In many ways, our first year as parents mirrored that experience: different challenges, unexpected pain, and countless unknowns, but ultimately surrounded by love and hope.
For more insights into the journey of parenthood, visit this blog post for helpful tips. If you’re considering home insemination, check out Cryobaby’s at-home insemination kit for an excellent resource. For those navigating infertility, Mount Sinai’s resources can provide support and guidance.
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- Home insemination success stories
- Tips for first-time parents
- Coping with postpartum anxiety
- How to prepare for a baby during a pandemic
- Understanding IVF and its process
In summary, my journey into motherhood during a pandemic has been filled with both joy and challenges. Despite the uncertainties, the love and hope that surrounded us helped us navigate an unprecedented time.