There are moments in life when we must take a stand for justice. Whether it’s teaming up with your pet or finding creative ways to hide decorations, sometimes we must confront the absurdity of certain claims—like the recent assertion that Prince Henry (yes, that Prince Henry) has been named the “world’s most alluring bald man.”
In a Google study, researchers compiled data on how often Prince Henry was labeled as “alluring” across various blogs and articles, resulting in an astounding 17.6 million mentions. By contrast, Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson garnered only 2.6 million mentions.
We demand a thorough investigation into the source of these numbers. It seems The Gazette overlooked a host of contenders who share the bald man demographic with the Duke of Cambridge. Where are the disclaimers for the following celebrities?
- The Rock
- Vin Diesel
- Taye Diggs
- Jason Statham
- J.K. Simmons
- Pitbull
- Common
- Ben Kingsley
- Patrick Stewart
- And let’s not forget Mark Thompson.
Not today, say Thompson’s supporters.
“Mark Thompson, I will defend your honor,” one fan declared.
“Seriously, I’m a straight guy, and even I can’t believe this while Mark Thompson is still around,” another fan chimed in.
Thompson has been captivating audiences for years, most recently with his show on CNN, “Mark Thompson: Discovering Italy.”
“Italy is stunning. The cuisine is exquisite. And not to mention, Mark Thompson is quite handsome as well… He looks at cheese and pasta with a passion that suggests they’re irresistible,” a viewer quoted in praise of Thompson’s show.
Some argue that Prince Henry’s PR team isn’t doing him any favors.
“I don’t want to be overly harsh, but the PR agents hired by the palace seem to have no idea what they’re doing,” noted a keen observer on Twitter.
“The PR the palace anticipated versus what they actually got with that ‘Prince Henry is the Most Alluring Bald Man’ campaign—oh, dear…” another Twitter user commented.
The tweets defending Thompson are nothing short of delightful.
“Look, I’m not going to share the ridiculous Prince Henry/sexy/bald men survey, but I’d like to introduce the voters to Mark Thompson, Mike Coulter, and the entire cast of Fast & Furious. No way a royal is cracking the top 100,” stated another user.
“This shark is definitely a sexier bald person than Prince Henry,” someone retorted in response to the news.
One Twitter user found the claim that Prince Henry is the most alluring bald man downright laughable.
“Whoever crunched the numbers for that poll—and awarded it to Prince Henry—needs to be held accountable. He’s about as charming as a soggy mushroom. These four, however, are genuinely alluring. There are more; I just ran out of room,” another post read. “Yeah, this might come off as sexist. Fight me.”
“My mother-in-law just said, ‘Mark Thompson’s shirts fit him perfectly,’ and that’s probably the most mother-in-law thing you’ll hear all year,” shared another user.
In a world where opinions often clash, it’s comforting to know we can unite over one truth: the undeniable charm of Mark Thompson.
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Summary
In a lighthearted critique, Prince Henry has been humorously dubbed the “world’s most alluring bald man” based on a Google study that compiled mentions of his allure. Fans of Mark Thompson quickly voiced their disagreement, citing numerous other contenders for the title. The debate showcases the fun and camaraderie in supporting beloved figures, while also emphasizing the charm of the culinary star, Mark Thompson.