Lifestyle
I recently found myself in my childhood bedroom, preparing my six-year-old for bedtime. After a long drive across the state and hours filled with laughter and reminiscing, I was ready to collapse into bed and let the day’s exhaustion wash over me.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw my mom peeking through the doorway to say goodnight. The moment my daughter spotted her, she sprang up and wrapped her arms around her Nana for what felt like the 300th hug of the day. After my daughter bounced back into bed, I tucked her in and casually said, “Goodnight, Mom, see you in the morning.”
That simple farewell caught in my throat, and I fought back tears for just a moment longer. Once my daughter was settled and my mom had retreated to her room, I took a few deep breaths, sat on the edge of the bed, and buried my face in my hands, allowing the weight of the past year to overwhelm me.
From the onset of this pandemic, I have lived in constant fear for my parents’ well-being. Countless nights were spent awake, consumed with worry about whether they would be okay. I often found myself questioning if I was doing enough to keep them safe, feeling frustrated by those who dismissed precautions like masks and quarantines.
Every time my mom had an allergy flare-up, anxiety would grip me. If my dad ever mentioned not feeling well, I’d mentally prepare for a hasty drive to help. Yet, each time, it turned out to be nothing serious—the seasonal sniffles resolved with some Claritin, and an upset stomach was soothed by ginger ale and rest.
I know the toll this virus has taken on families across the country. The thought of my parents becoming statistics in the nearly 550,000 lives lost to COVID-19 haunted me.
To cope with being apart, my parents and I began FaceTiming regularly. Most times, it was just a quick call to see each other’s faces, but it also became a way to share updates on our quarantined lives. Then, a few months ago, my mom casually mentioned, “We have our appointment next week.”
My heart dropped as panic set in. What appointment? Were my parents facing a health crisis? But before I could spiral into worry, she clarified, “For our vaccine.”
In that moment, shock flooded over me. After months of anxiety, the thought of them actually getting vaccinated left me momentarily speechless. Yet, when I finally regained my composure, I realized my mom didn’t share my excitement.
Given that they had been isolated for almost a year due to being considered vulnerable, the anxiety surrounding their health was understandably profound. They had grappled with thoughts of mortality and listened to those who downplayed the virus’s impact, making them feel like their lives were expendable.
Despite these fears, they both received their vaccinations without issue. We followed the recommended waiting period, and soon, I was packed and ready for a visit that felt monumental. It was the first time in a year I could embrace my parents without the fear that my touch—or my children’s—could endanger them.
While the world remains far from normal, the relief of alleviating my parents’ immediate health risks was a turning point for our family. My heart aches for those who have lost loved ones to this virus. Each story of loss reminds us of the fragility of life; those affected are not just distant acquaintances, but often our neighbors, friends, and family.
Saying goodnight to my mom that night was both emotional and significant. I feel incredibly fortunate to be near my parents again, to hug them, talk, and simply share love in person. Their vaccination restored that connection for us, and I cherish each moment.
Although the pandemic is not over, we must celebrate these small victories. Today, I find joy in the simple act of saying goodnight to my mom. I am filled with gratitude and hope for many more moments like this in the future.
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