Let’s be honest: you never tune in to the radio or TV and hear someone excitedly announce, “It’s Monday! It’s Monday!” There’s not much to celebrate about Mondays—they’re often filled with tedious tasks. For starters, it’s time to head back to work or school. Once you find yourself at the office (which, let’s face it, has probably turned into your kitchen counter due to COVID-19), the expectations suddenly skyrocket. You’ve got a mountain of emails to sift through, countless meetings, and phone calls where someone asks, “Did you have time to think about that over the weekend?” No! I was trying to relax, thank you very much. Mondays can feel overwhelming, which is why they tend to get a bad rap. After all, there are plenty of motivational Monday quotes to help you survive the transition from the Sunday scaries to Tuesday morning.
That doesn’t mean we can’t have a laugh about them, right? Sometimes, sharing a joke is the best way to cope. Flat tire? There’s a joke for that. Bad breakup? Plenty of jokes to help you through. Miss your new puppy? You bet! And Mondays are no exception. Here are some humorous quips that mix sarcasm and silliness, perfect for lightening the most mundane of tasks. (Like that meeting with Marketing that could have just been an email, right, Lisa?)
- Rolling out of bed on Mondays is easy. Getting off the floor is much harder.
- A day on Venus lasts 5,832 hours—just like a Monday on Earth.
- Look on the bright side: at least Mondays only come once a week.
- When does Monday come before Sunday? In the dictionary!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Monday. Go away!
- What annoys NFL players the most at the start of the week? Monday morning quarterbacks.
- If Monday had a face, I’d punch it.
- Sunday and Monday are in a fight. Who wins? Sunday. Because Monday is a workday!
- Spending one-seventh of your life on Mondays is just awful.
- What do you call Mondays without Zoom meetings? Meetless Mondays.
- What’s the most depressing sound on a Monday? Alarm clocks!
- What do school kids wish for on Sundays? A foot of snow by Monday.
- I like Tuesday simply because it’s the farthest from next Monday.
- What’s the saddest part of the week? Monday mornings.
- Why didn’t the skeleton laugh at these Monday jokes? He didn’t find them humerus.
- A rainy Friday is still better than a sunny Monday.
- God gave us Mondays to punish us for our weekend shenanigans.
- What did the cyclops say when he woke up on Monday? “Eye just can’t go to work today!”
- Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday—blink, and it’s Monday again.
- How do hens feel on Mondays? Eggs-hausted.
- Why did the cat skip school on Monday? It wasn’t feline well.
- Why did Boba Fett sleep from Tuesday to Sunday? He was a Mondaylorian.
- If every day is a gift, I’d like to know where I can return Mondays.
- What does the executioner say on Monday mornings? “Time to beheaded to work!”
- What’s worse than Friday the 13th? Monday the 16th!
- Which day of the week are demons most drained? De-Monday, like the rest of us.
- Mondays aren’t so bad, though. Just 48 hours ago, it was a sadder day.
- What’s worse than a Monday morning quarterback? Monday mornings.
- What do you call someone who’s happy on Mondays? Unemployed.
- On Monday, we kick off Diarrhea Awareness Week. It runs until Friday.
- What did the cashew say on Monday morning? “Monday always drives me nuts!”
- Why did the shady calendar end up in jail at the week’s start? He was caught Monday laundering!
This collection of jokes is sure to bring a smile to your face, even on the toughest of Mondays! If you’re looking for more insights about home insemination, check out our other blog posts, including this one for terms and conditions. Additionally, Cryobaby’s at-home insemination kit is an excellent resource if you’re considering home insemination. Also, don’t forget to explore more about pregnancy and home insemination on CCRM’s blog.
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In summary, Mondays may be a drag, but they don’t have to be boring! With these jokes, you can lighten the atmosphere and tackle the week ahead with a smile.