Growing up, there was a recurring joke among adults about breaking their children’s plates and kicking them out at 18. My parents and their friends would chuckle at this at every dinner party. It was amusing to them, even though they had been saying it throughout my childhood. I found it ridiculous, especially as I looked at my siblings, seemingly unfazed by the idea of being sent away at 18.
Of course, it was just a joke, and my parents never actually kicked us out. In fact, I was the only one of my four siblings who left home voluntarily after graduating high school and never returned.
When I had my first child, the thought of him eventually leaving home hit me differently. I realized I would never make him feel like I was counting down the days until he left. As I gazed at him in his bassinet next to my hospital bed, I was overwhelmed with love and fear of losing him. The thought of him moving out became a source of dread rather than excitement.
Over the years, I’ve tried to focus on how much time I still have with my kids, but now my firstborn is preparing to leave, and I am struggling with it. His messy room and the ice cream container left on the counter don’t bother me as much as the thought of waking up on weekends without him or hoping he’ll return for the holidays.
Recently, I saw a post on social media celebrating empty nesters enjoying their newfound freedom. It triggered feelings in me that I can’t quite articulate. I don’t feel like celebrating at all. My son is graduating in June, and while I know this transition is about him becoming an independent adult, I can’t help but feel a profound sense of loss.
I will miss my kids dearly. For almost 18 years, my life has revolved around them. What will I become when they leave? No one can truly prepare you for motherhood, especially when it comes to the teenage years. How do we cope with the shift from a bustling home to one filled with silence?
I am not looking forward to an empty nest. The thought of fewer chores or less clutter does little to cheer me. This message is for all parents who feel apprehensive about their empty nest years—you are not alone in your feelings.
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In summary, as my child prepares to leave home, I find myself grappling with emotions of sadness and dread, feeling unprepared for the changes that are about to come. While others celebrate an empty nest, I am left reflecting on the years spent raising my children and what my life will look like without them.