I’ll kick things off with a revelation: sleeping with your ex is generally a bad idea. To clarify, doing so without asking yourself, “Am I truly prepared for this?” is a recipe for disaster. At least, it was for me.
Looking back, I have a long list of regrets about my encounter with my ex-husband, yet there’s one significant lesson I cherish. Let’s dive into the messy details.
Like many poor choices I’ve made, this one was born out of desire. Having separated a few months prior, we both started missing the physical connection we once shared. It all began with his irresistible triceps.
My ex-husband was my Achilles’ heel when it came to intimacy. I had trained him well, and he was a quick learner. There’s a unique bond that comes from knowing someone intimately, isn’t there? It’s common for exes to yearn for that closeness, especially right after a breakup. I certainly convinced myself of this as I returned home one night.
At that time, we were still sharing a living space, with him taking the couch while I occupied the upstairs room. I found him engrossed in a game of Street Fighter, and as I put some leftovers in the fridge, I noticed him eyeing me—focusing on my body. I’d missed that gaze. I allowed myself to get swept up in nostalgia instead of reminding myself why we broke up in the first place.
I was looking for that movie-like moment of passion, the kind you see in romantic films.
Reflecting on it now, I realize there’s no shame in missing what you once had. However, if you return to an old relationship expecting things to be the same, you might be in for a rude awakening. I wish I had understood that back then, but all I could think about was rekindling a physical connection.
I didn’t pause to ask myself, “What am I hoping to achieve here?”
“What’s that new tattoo?” my ex-husband inquired, his attention shifting from the game to the ink peeking out from my collarbone. When he asked if he could touch it, I obliged. Soon, we were laughing, then kissing, and things escalated quickly.
The encounter was both exhilarating and confusing. Despite the intensity, it felt different—almost off. The chemistry was undeniable, and we both put in a lot of effort. It’s incredible how much you can let go once you know a relationship is ending.
But after the excitement faded, regret set in. I hadn’t considered what I truly wanted from this moment.
When he jumped out of bed to use the bathroom, I felt a wave of discomfort and irritation for having wasted our time.
If you’re considering sleeping with your ex post-breakup, go ahead. I’ve found that breakup sex can sometimes serve as a way to close the chapter on a past relationship. However, it’s crucial to be prepared and ensure both parties are aligned in their intentions.
Maybe you feel safe and familiar with this person, and you’ve mutually agreed to a “friends with benefits” situation. A recent study from Wayne University even suggests that reconnecting physically with an ex can leave you feeling more positive. Whatever your reasons may be, as long as they’re not harmful, more power to you. But the key is being in the right mindset.
Neither my ex-husband nor I wanted to rekindle our relationship, yet sleeping together felt final. After a few more encounters, I realized I didn’t want to repeat the experience. The aftermath left me feeling nauseous, dirty, and annoyed for wasting our precious time.
In his words, “It’s like riding a roller coaster for the last time as the theme park closes.” We both knew it was time to let go, but we needed that final push.
“I should head back downstairs, huh?” he asked.
“Probably,” I replied with a smile, letting him give me one last playful smack on the rear. We parted ways, both relieved never to touch each other again.
Those painful moments turned out to be excellent teachers. Once he left, I sank into the mattress, feeling more content than regretful. Despite all the choices I wished I could take back, I ended up feeling thankful for the experience.
Painful lessons often lead to growth—especially when learning to let go. You’ll likely find yourself making some regrettable choices before you fully accept the end of a relationship. But trust me, once you recognize it’s over, save yourself the trouble and walk away. You’ll likely be grateful for the clarity it brings.
Having that strange goodbye sex with my ex was undeniably a sign of closure. Life is funny that way—you can never go back, but you can always learn and exit with a bang.
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In summary, sleeping with my ex was a mistake filled with regret, but it taught me valuable lessons about closure and the importance of understanding what you truly want from a relationship.