A few months back, I stumbled upon a captivating TikTok video from a charming plus-size woman enjoying a glass of wine while criticizing the glaring lack of body diversity on ABC’s The Bachelor franchise. She opened by sharing that she had “a bone to pick” with the show, revealing that she had been a fan since its inception but had never seen anyone who resembled her. She articulated how the absence of plus-size representation perpetuates the notion that larger women cannot experience love or a happy ending.
Her message resonated deeply, but it was her warm and engaging personality that prompted me to explore more about her. The TikTok account, Swipefat, is run by body-positive lifestyle influencer Mia Carson from the Chicago area, along with her “fat best friend,” marketing professional Lila Hart. Together, they host the podcast Swipefat, which delves into the intricate dynamics of dating as a plus-size individual.
To be candid, dating isn’t something I often contemplate. Having been married for what feels like forever and having met my husband at eighteen—my first boyfriend, no less—I’ve never had to navigate the dating scene. Yet, there was something about Mia and Lila’s TikTok that felt so relatable and inviting that I immediately turned to Apple Podcasts to listen to Swipefat. Despite my complete inexperience with dating apps, I found myself nodding along, as their discussions resonate with me as a plus-size woman, no matter my relationship status. I even found myself feeling a pang of jealousy that they get to be friends in real life, while I’m just a listener. Mia and Lila embody the honest, humorous “fat best friends” that I wish I had.
Fortunately, Mia and Lila were kind enough to chat with us about their podcast, their experiences, and the realities of dating in 2021.
On the Motivation Behind That Viral TikTok:
Mia shared, “We’re beginning to see more representation in media, but reality TV is still lacking in body diversity. That’s not realistic! It’s crucial to see yourself reflected in those fairytales. We all want to end up happy and in love, and when there’s no representation, it becomes harder to envision that for ourselves.”
On Gaining Confidence as Plus-Size Women:
“I’ve been plus-size my whole life,” Lila recounted. “In my previous career in radio, I faced significant public bullying, which left me traumatized. I lost weight but still wasn’t content. It became clear that my size wouldn’t define my happiness, and I began the essential journey of self-love.”
“I wasn’t always confident,” Mia admitted. “I always believed I had a great personality, but confidence is a journey. I started on Instagram as a food blogger, which is rare for someone my size. Positive feedback fueled my growth, even though I was late to the body positivity movement—starting in my thirties!”
On Embracing the Term “Fat”:
“It’s simply a descriptor, just like ‘thin.’ Why has it become a negative term? We’ve associated it with laziness and unhealthiness when that’s not true. You can be fat and healthy or skinny and unhealthy,” Mia explained. “Some friends were offended when we named the podcast ‘Swipefat,’” Lila laughed, “Even our parents were surprised!”
On the Challenges of Dating as Plus-Size:
“Dating is tough for everyone, but being plus-size adds another layer,” Lila noted. “We often feel pressured to add disclaimers to our profiles or overthink our pictures to avoid being labeled as catfish. The fear of disappointing someone when you show up can be daunting. Plus, there’s the issue of being fetishized—it’s a lot to navigate.”
Mia sighed in agreement, “It’s truly complex.”
On Handling Rejection:
“Rejection can be a teacher,” Mia offered. “Once you experience it, you realize it’s not as bad as imagined. It takes time to develop thick skin. Now, we understand our worth and that it’s a two-way street in dating.”
Advice for Dating as a Plus-Size Individual:
- Just Go For It: “Even if it makes you nervous, you have to start somewhere. The fear is often worse than the reality. Know your worth—you’re beautiful and have so much to offer beyond your body,” Lila encourages.
- Create Your Profile with Friends: Have a fun night with friends and build your dating profile together.
- Choose Honest Photos: “Use images that make you feel confident, but that also represent how you look,” Mia advises. “Being authentic will help ease any discomfort on the date.”
In addition to their podcast, Mia and Lila star in a series on FreebieTV titled “Dating in the Modern Age,” which showcases their journeys of finding connection as plus-size women during the pandemic. They also manage a private Facebook group for plus-size women navigating the dating landscape. “Members share excitement about upcoming dates and seek advice on outfits,” Mia smiles. “Many people lack a supportive fat friend. Our podcast and community validate their experiences.”
Mia Carson and Lila Hart are inspiring figures who uplift other plus-size women, reminding them that being fat doesn’t diminish their worth in relationships. “Your size doesn’t dictate your eligibility for a quality relationship,” Lila asserts.
You can tune into SwipeFat on Spotify and Apple Podcasts.
Summary:
The Swipefat podcast, hosted by Mia Carson and Lila Hart, tackles the complexities of dating as plus-size women, emphasizing the importance of representation and self-love. With a blend of humor and honesty, they offer relatable insights and practical advice for navigating the dating world while promoting body positivity.
SEO Metadata:
Explore the challenges and triumphs of dating as a plus-size individual with the Swipefat podcast. Join Mia Carson and Lila Hart as they discuss body positivity, representation, and self-love in the dating landscape.