Whether you’re a soccer enthusiast or not, you’ll surely appreciate Apple TV+’s Ted Lasso. This delightful comedy series features Jason Sudeikis as the endearing character who, despite being a small-town football coach with no knowledge of soccer, is hired to manage a British soccer team by its new owner, Rebecca Walton (portrayed by Hannah Waddingham). The result is a mix of hilarious moments and unexpectedly touching scenes, accompanied by a plethora of insightful and sincere quotes from Ted Lasso himself.
If you haven’t had the chance to watch this remarkable series, it’s a must-see. It garnered significant acclaim during the awards season, with Sudeikis winning a Golden Globe, a Critics’ Choice Award, and a Screen Actors Guild Award. Quite impressive for a storyline that originated from a few NBC Sports promos back in 2013. Thanks to Lasso’s signature charm and positivity, the show became a popular binge-watch during the quarantine, offering a much-needed dose of optimism. For those who have already enjoyed the series, you might be on your second or third viewing, relishing the clever quips and heartfelt moments as you await the next season. Here are some of our favorite quotes from the show, and always remember: be a goldfish.
Notable Quotes from Ted Lasso
- “Taking on a challenge is much like riding a horse. If you’re feeling comfortable, you’re probably not doing it right.”
- “If we bump into each other in our dreams, let’s have some fun and act like we don’t know each other.”
- “Gentlemen, I could watch your North Korean military antics all day, but I need a favor.”
- “In locker rooms, I prefer them like my mom’s swimsuits: only in one piece.”
- “Rebecca: How do you take your tea? Ted: Usually back to the counter; there’s been a mistake.”
- “Do you believe in ghosts? I do, but what matters is that they believe in themselves.”
- “I always imagined tea would taste like hot brown water, and I was right—it’s terrible.”
- “Even Woody and Buzz had their moments.”
- “Beating yourself up is like listening to a clarinet played by Woody Allen—not interested.”
- “Don’t waste the wisdom of age.”
- “Change can be frightening. One moment you’re playing freeze tag, and the next, you’re dealing with zits and awkward feelings.”
- “Embracing change is what it’s all about.”
- “If one more person confuses Beard and me, I’m having a classic tantrum—think silly names like ‘dummy head’ or ‘pee-pee fingers’.”
- “Tea and I are on a long-term break.”
- “Being sad is tough, but being alone and sad is worse. None of us are alone here.”
- “Remember, your body is like day-old rice—if it’s not warmed up, it could go bad.”
- “If God wanted games to end in ties, there wouldn’t be numbers.”
- “Giving me the cold shoulder and the silent treatment? That’s a combo. Is it paired with a medium drink?”
- “I believe in hope. I believe in Believe.”
- “It smells like potential.”
- “A sassy smurf would be quite entertaining.”
- “Sounds like someone’s caught in a complicated love triangle.”
- “You injured your behind? No shame in that.”
- “Knock-a-doodle-doo!”
- “Drinking early leads to a quick buzz.”
- “If you care for someone and have love in your heart, you can overcome anything together.”
- “Roy, I learned two important lessons from Bookridge Elementary: never accept candy from Ronnie Fouch, and telling a bully to stop often makes it worse.”
- “I think I understand who assassinated Kennedy better than I do the offside rule. (Pause) It was the mob.”
- “If you’d told me a year ago I’d be drinking tea at three every day, I’d have punched you.”
- “To be a Premier League team, you need three things: physical play, full effort until the final whistle, and sponsorship from a Middle-Eastern airline.”
- “How many countries exist in this country?”
- “Be curious, not judgmental.”
- “What’s the happiest animal on Earth? A goldfish, because it has a ten-second memory. Be a goldfish, Sam.”
- “Jamie Tartt: I’m me. Why would I want to be anyone else? Ted: That’s quite psychologically healthy.”
- “Taking on a challenge is akin to riding a horse—if you’re too comfortable, it’s probably wrong.”
- “This woman is strong, confident, and powerful. I’d hate to see her arm wrestle Michelle Obama.”
- “Ted: I’m winding him up because he’s the key. To make an impact, we need to reach his heart first.”
- “Success, for me, isn’t about wins or losses; it’s about helping young men become their best selves on and off the field.”
- “I admire those who become wealthy through their contributions, not just their family’s name.”
- “Little girls are mysterious and powerful. I stopped trying to figure them out long ago.”
- “I value each of your opinions, even when you’re wrong.”
- “Our goal is to exit like Willie Nelson—on a high note!”
- “In locker rooms, I prefer them like my mother’s swimsuits: only in one piece.”
- “I’m eager to learn what relegation means.”
- “Ties and no playoffs? What’s the point?”
- “Come on, Rob! You need to get it in there for three points!”
- “Can someone explain how that was offside? Seriously! It makes no sense.”
- “That’s a scone—it tastes like a muffin but sucks the moisture from your mouth.”
- “I struggle to hear those who don’t believe in themselves.”
- “Funny how coincidences just happen sometimes.”
- “I have a feeling we’re not in Kansas anymore, Coach.”
- “If that’s a joke, I love it; if not, let’s talk it through later.”
- “You could fill two internets with what I don’t know about football.”
- “I never know how to respond when a grown man beatboxes in front of me.”
- “As someone once said, the harder you work, the luckier you get.”
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In summary, Ted Lasso is not only a source of humor but also an inspiration for embracing challenges and maintaining a positive outlook. His quotes resonate with wisdom that can apply to various aspects of life, including journeys in parenting and personal growth.