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I realized I had a problem when I began to treat meditation as just another item on my to-do list. Encouraged by friends who swear by meditation apps like Calm and Headspace, I decided to give it a shot during the chaos of 2020, hoping to find the “center” I had lost amidst piles of laundry, endless Zoom calls with my kids, my job responsibilities, and the persistent reminders from our cat that his food bowl was empty again. Yet, as a soothing voice guided me through breathing exercises, I found myself mentally planning dinner, deciding what Netflix series to watch next, and keeping an ear out for any potential scuffles between my children in the next room. After the session ended, I checked “Meditate” off my mental list, feeling no more centered than when I began.
It’s a common stereotype that mothers are perpetually exhausted, but in my case, it was all too real. I often felt tired and happy, sometimes a mix of tired and stressed, and occasionally tired and frustrated. But the underlying issue was always fatigue. As a mother of children who sleep well, are out of diapers, and can handle many daily tasks independently, I found it puzzling that I still felt as drained as I did during the newborn phase.
Then it struck me: my constant fatigue might be due to my relentless multitasking. My body would be engaged in one activity while my mind was preoccupied with another. Even when my tasks aligned, like replying to emails, I was bombarded with messages from work, my kids’ school, friends, and various political organizations. By 6 p.m., it was no wonder I felt completely wiped out.
Recently, I decided to make a change and rediscovered the concept of “single-tasking.” This involves dedicating your focus to just one task until it is completed—a practice I remembered fondly from the days before I became a parent. When I sat down to tackle work emails, for example, I limited myself to only those emails, ignoring all distractions. More importantly, during moments spent with my kids, I committed to being fully present rather than worrying about what needed to happen next.
Of course, as a parent, it’s not always feasible to single-task or to maintain that focus consistently. Many of my attempts get interrupted. However, when I do manage to concentrate, I notice that tasks are completed more swiftly and effectively, as I’m fully engaged. When that task is quality time with my family, we all feel happier and more relaxed after focusing solely on one another. Physically, I also feel less tired. While I haven’t eliminated fatigue entirely, for my mind, single-tasking serves as a mini power nap.
Sometimes, we mothers wear our multitasking abilities like a badge of honor. After all, the female brain is a remarkable asset. However, there’s a fine line between effective multitasking and pushing ourselves to the brink of burnout. I came dangerously close to that edge this past year, but I’m now moving in the right direction, one task—and one moment—at a time.
For additional insights, check out this post on home insemination kits. Also, for those exploring the concept of home insemination, Make A Mom offers excellent resources. For more comprehensive information on fertility and assisted reproduction, visit Johns Hopkins Medicine.
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In summary, my journey to combat constant exhaustion led me to the practice of single-tasking, allowing me to focus more on each activity and, consequently, feel less fatigued. By dedicating my attention to one task at a time, whether it’s work-related or spending quality time with family, I’ve found a way to be more effective and present in my daily life.