30+ Monday Jokes to Keep You Laughing All Week

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Let’s be honest: you’re never going to hear someone excitedly announce, “Monday! Monday! Monday!” on the radio or TV. Mondays don’t come with fun or excitement; they’re filled with chores and obligations. You have to return to work or school, and if you’re working from home, that means relocating your laptop from the couch to the kitchen counter. Emails pile up, meetings multiply, and you’re left wondering why you spent your weekend trying to unwind when you could have been thinking about work. The pressure of Mondays is why they have such a bad reputation, leading to the creation of countless motivational quotes just to help you transition from the anxiety of Sunday nights to the reality of Monday mornings.

But laughter is the best medicine, right? A good joke can make a tough day a little brighter. So, if you’re dreading the start of the week, here are some humorous quips about Mondays to help lighten the mood.

1. Rolling out of bed on Mondays is easy. Getting off the floor is a whole different story.
2. One day on Venus lasts 5,832 hours—just like one Monday on Earth!
3. Look on the bright side: at least Mondays only come around once a week.
4. When does Monday precede Sunday? In the dictionary!
5. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Monday. Go away!
6. What annoys NFL players the most on Mondays? Monday morning quarterbacks.
7. If Monday had a face, I would punch it.
8. Sunday and Monday are in a fight. Who wins? Sunday—Monday is a weekday!
9. Monday is a terrible way to spend one-seventh of your life.
10. What do you call a Monday without Zoom meetings? Meetless Monday.
11. What’s the most depressing sound on a Monday? Alarm clocks!
12. What do kids wish for most on Sundays? A foot of snow by Monday!
13. I like Tuesday because it’s the furthest day from the next Monday!
14. What’s the saddest part of the week? Monday mornings.
15. Why didn’t the skeleton laugh at these Monday jokes? He didn’t find them humerus.
16. A rainy Friday is still better than a sunny Monday.
17. God gave us Mondays to punish us for the fun we had over the weekend.
18. What did the cyclops say when he woke up on Monday? “Eye just can’t go to work today!”
19. Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday… blink, and it’s Monday again!
20. How do hens feel on Mondays? Egg-hausted!
21. Why did the cat skip school on Monday? He wasn’t feline well.
22. Why did Boba Fett sleep all week? He was a Mondaylorian.
23. If every day is a gift, can I return Mondays?
24. What does the executioner say on Monday mornings? “Time to beheaded to work.”
25. What’s worse than Friday the 13th? Monday the 16th.
26. Which day are demons most exhausted? De-Monday.
27. Mondays aren’t so bad—only 48 hours ago it was a sadder day.
28. What’s worse than a Monday morning quarterback? Monday mornings!
29. What do you call someone who’s happy on a Monday? Unemployed!
30. On Monday, we kick off Diarrhea Awareness Week, which lasts until Friday.
31. What did the cashew say on Monday? “Monday always drives me nuts!”
32. Why did the shady calendar go to jail at the start of the week? He was caught Monday laundering!

So, while Mondays can be a drag, a good laugh can help make them a bit more bearable. If you’re looking for more resources on home insemination, check out this excellent resource for pregnancy and home insemination.

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Summary:

Mondays can be tough, but a good joke can lighten the load. With these 30+ Monday jokes, you can bring some humor to the start of your week. Remember, laughter is a great way to cope with the pressures of returning to work or school after a relaxing weekend.