PSA: Women Are Tired of ‘Parenting’ Their Partners

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I vividly recall one Saturday morning when I rushed out the door for my son’s basketball game, feeling furious enough to scream. I had asked my (now ex) partner to vacuum while I took a quick run. When I returned, I found he hadn’t done it—meanwhile, the kids were still lounging around in their pajamas, glued to the TV.

I was left with just an hour to get myself ready, prepare the kids, and tackle the ever-present dog hair from our two pups. Weekends were my chance to escape for a run, knowing he would be home with the kids. Instead, I was left managing everything alone once again, despite the expectation that he would step up. I thought it should be common sense for him to help out, but instead, I often found myself doing it all on my own.

After a long week of getting the kids ready for school, working, and handling housework, I wanted to count on him to take on just a small part of my responsibilities. It was disheartening to see him opt out of tasks because they seemed “too hard” or because the kids were content at the moment. It felt as if I didn’t matter, and he was unwilling to make my life easier.

Many men act as if they don’t understand the significance of these seemingly small tasks, or they dismiss the issue entirely. But let’s be clear: this is just laziness. Women are fed up with having to constantly remind their partners about what needs to be done—after all, they share the same space.

One day, while cooking dinner and wrangling my toddlers, I heard a psychologist on an Oprah episode address a couple’s struggles. The husband was confused as to why his wife was upset about him not replacing the paper towel roll after using the last one. The psychologist explained, “It’s not about the paper towels. It’s about you ignoring her request time and time again.”

This moment hit home for me. It wasn’t just about the chores—it was the repeated disregard for my needs. Who ends up picking up the pieces? Usually, it’s the other partner.

A post by relationship coach Matthew Fray about the significance of small gestures really resonated with me. He noted that many men don’t realize that leaving dirty dishes behind isn’t just about the mess—it’s about the underlying message it conveys. When my ex left clutter around, it felt like a lack of respect and acknowledgment. Over time, this built resentment and affected our relationship negatively.

We don’t want to feel like we’re parenting our partners; we want to be equals. While I would do things for my ex that I didn’t particularly enjoy—like his love for canoeing—this effort became exhausting without reciprocation. We shouldn’t have to micromanage our spouses. If your partner is consistently pointing out what you aren’t doing, that’s your cue to step up.

It shouldn’t be so difficult to contribute to the household responsibilities. I’ve noticed that my ex is now more engaged with his new partner, helping with chores and even bringing in groceries—something I used to do alone. It’s been tough to see him be a better partner to her than he was to me, but perhaps he learned from his mistakes.

If you’re interested in exploring more about home insemination, check out this post on home insemination techniques or visit Make a Mom for expert advice. For further information on pregnancy, this Wikipedia entry on in vitro fertilisation is an excellent resource.

Summary:

Women are increasingly frustrated with having to parent their partners, handling household responsibilities alone, and feeling undervalued. It’s essential for both partners to contribute equally to maintain a healthy relationship. The significance of seemingly small tasks reflects deeper issues of respect and acknowledgment.

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