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As a parent, I find myself constantly navigating a maze of mixed messages. We hear advice like, “Take care of yourself!” followed by, “Don’t let your baby cry!” or “Give your kids independence!” while also being criticized for letting them play outside alone. It’s a no-win situation, especially when it comes to school and attendance policies.
Consider this: any parent who sends a sick child to school is immediately judged. Even before the pandemic, if your child had a runny nose or a stomach ache and you sent them to school, you’d be labeled irresponsible. The message was clear—stay home if your child is sick. But here’s the kicker: the same school districts that preach about staying home when ill often also enforce stringent attendance policies.
Take my friend, Sarah, living in Texas, who must produce a doctor’s note if her kids miss more than two days. Seriously? Kids get sick all the time, and many minor illnesses don’t warrant a doctor’s visit. For families facing financial struggles or without insurance, the idea of a doctor’s appointment just to appease a school’s attendance policy is unrealistic.
My own kids have faced their share of viruses—fevers, coughs, runny noses—but I learned not to rush them to the doctor every time. If I lived in a district with strict attendance rules, I might have had to drag my kids to a doctor’s office, risking exposure to new germs and incurring unnecessary expenses—all just to get a note for school.
This is especially concerning for parents of children with chronic illnesses. They already navigate a complex and costly daily routine without the added stress of school penalties for absences.
Mental health is finally being recognized as equally important as physical health, particularly among children. The pandemic highlighted the mental health struggles kids face, and we’re starting to understand that they, too, need days off to recharge. Yet, schools continue to issue attendance awards, rewarding perfect attendance without considering the underlying circumstances.
What are these awards truly celebrating? Good immune systems? Parents with stable jobs and reliable transportation? Attendance awards disproportionately favor children from stable homes and unintentionally shame those from less fortunate backgrounds or those dealing with health challenges.
While it’s essential for children to learn about achievements in areas like academics or sports, attendance awards do not promote hard work or effort. They simply highlight luck and privilege, sending the message that taking a day off—whether for illness or mental health—is frowned upon.
This mentality follows our children into adulthood, creating a culture where working through sickness is normalized, and taking time off is seen as a weakness. The pressure to show up, no matter the cost, starts young, and as parents, we must recognize and challenge this narrative.
Instead of perpetuating the cycle of stress and guilt, we should celebrate schools and workplaces that prioritize self-care, wellness, and mental health awareness. Let’s shift the focus from attendance awards to promoting a healthier approach to well-being for everyone.
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