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Welcome to our advice column, where our team tackles all the questions you have about life, love, parenting, and more. This week, we address the question of when it’s time to stop assisting our older children with personal hygiene.
Recently, I was chatting with some mom friends, and a few of them were venting about their kids’ inadequate wiping skills, which left them with a mountain of laundry. I kept quiet because I felt a bit outnumbered, but I have to admit—I still wipe my kid’s butt, and she’s almost five! Since she hasn’t been in preschool or daycare due to the pandemic, I guess I just kept doing it. My friends’ kids, on the other hand, have been independent since they were potty-trained, which seems shocking to me. Am I the odd one out here?
Can I just say that this is one of the most charming “problems” I’ve encountered? I truly enjoy questions like these!
As for whether you’re weird for still wiping your child’s bottom, absolutely not! As you pointed out, you’ve continued this routine simply because there’s been no reason to stop. Every child develops at their own pace, and honestly, I haven’t met a two-year-old who can wipe themselves effectively. The fact that your friends are relying on extra cleaning supplies suggests their kids might not be doing such a stellar job, either!
If you feel ready, it might be time to start teaching your daughter how to handle this on her own. If she’s anything like my little one, she may be a bit squeamish about the process but will likely do a decent job in time. You can guide her with the right amount of toilet paper (about 5-6 squares, depending on the brand) and show her the technique. If she’s starting school soon, it’s a valuable skill she’ll need.
Don’t let the label of “Butt-Wiping Mom” get you down! Embrace it, because you’re saving yourself from messy stains, and with your guidance, your daughter will likely develop good habits that will stick with her.
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Summary: This advice column addresses a mom’s concern about whether it’s unusual to still wipe her almost five-year-old’s bottom. The response reassures her that it’s perfectly normal, especially given the lack of daycare during the pandemic. It encourages her to start teaching her daughter how to wipe on her own, emphasizing the importance of good hygiene habits without any stigma attached to being the “Butt-Wiping Mom.”