From The Confessional: Our Cluttered Homes Are Causing Us Anxiety

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When I reminisce about life before motherhood, I recall carefree weekends spent sleeping in, enjoying post-work happy hours, and taking long, leisurely strolls with my partner, envisioning our future together. Our cozy, albeit tiny, apartment was always immaculate.

Why was it so tidy? For starters, I dedicated hours each Saturday to cleaning. However, the primary reason was the lack of clutter. There were no piles of toys strewn about, no abandoned shoes at the entrance, and definitely no leftover snacks with a single bite taken out of them.

Life was much simpler when it was just the two of us, with more time and fewer little ones to look after. Fast forward to now, and we’re barely scraping through bedtime every night. Our home is never fully clean. Even if I spend an entire day organizing a room, that fleeting sense of accomplishment vanishes as soon as I step into another room that has been neglected.

Take the kitchen, for instance—it’s a jumble of unopened mail, dirty dishes, a hoodie draped over a chair, ingredients for a dinner I’m yet to make, and an unfinished bottle of wine that I opened last night in a moment of despair. And the chaos doesn’t stop there; the kids’ bedrooms, the office, the living room, and the basement are all in a similar state.

I despise clutter. I long for the simplicity of my old, clean apartment. Yet, my love for my family outweighs my frustration. Despite my constant reminders to pick up after themselves, I wouldn’t trade this life for anything. Still, I wouldn’t mind if they celebrated Mother’s Day next month by putting their dirty socks in the laundry instead of leaving them on the living room rug.

Successfully decluttering my daughter’s playroom without resorting to simply tossing everything is my biggest achievement in a year. Honestly, it’s so pristine that I feel like Marie Kondo would approve!

I don’t know how it happened, but after years of resistance, my partner has begun to declutter and tidy up the house. It’s transforming from a disaster zone to a more inviting space; I can’t help but find him more attractive too. Coincidence?

I’ve been donating a lot of our excess items. While it hasn’t exactly sparked joy, I do feel a sense of relief. Lately, I’ve been so annoyed with my family not cleaning up after themselves that I’ve started disposing of their belongings without informing them. Clutter be gone! The sad part is, they probably don’t even notice what’s missing.

Marie Kondo is onto something—decluttering truly does feel good. And when my partner takes initiative, it’s even better. When he clears out his office and tosses unnecessary papers, it’s quite the turn-on.

My newfound motivation for tackling clutter stems from having two kids in college. If they get engaged like I did, I don’t want to feel embarrassed when their future in-laws come over.

It’s an awkward moment when you go to declutter and attempt to donate items, only to discover that even thrift stores don’t want your stuff. I have a video consultation with my doctor today, and I’m more anxious than usual because I worry my kids will scream and the dog will bark, revealing the chaotic state of my home.

Feeling ashamed of our messy homes is a terrible feeling—worrying about what others think while we’re genuinely trying our best. I’m especially frustrated with my teenage daughter, who seems to expend more energy hiding her clutter than it would take to simply pick it up.

What I miss most from my child-free days is a tidy home. We do our best to declutter and encourage the kids to clean, but amidst books, sports gear, crafts, and toys, I can’t even walk through my own house. Is that too much to ask?

I need to stop getting worked up over every little annoyance, but it’s tough. The clutter drives me insane. I feel hopeless at being organized, especially with two small kids. I’m just so tired of living in a chaotic space.

Living with everyone else’s mess is going to be my breaking point. Seriously, why can’t the other people in my house just put their shoes away or remove that random Happy Meal toy from the kitchen table?!

I often find myself fantasizing about leaving and living in a clean, uncluttered space. I’m not sure if that’s a hopeful thought or just a false hope.

Decluttering has made me increasingly irritated as I uncover item after item that my partner spent a fortune on years ago and never even unboxed.

He thinks I’m organizing just to be tidy, but I’m truly preparing for our inevitable separation. My partner clutters every available surface, especially in the kitchen, and after 15 years of this madness, I’ve stopped feeling guilty about tossing out his items.

Clutter can seriously damage relationships too. It’s hard to suppress your resentment when you work tirelessly to maintain a tidy home, only to have your partner drop their keys, coffee mug, and dirty plate on the counter without a second thought. It leaves us feeling unappreciated and invisible. Doesn’t anyone else care if the house is a mess?!

For many of us, whether due to natural messiness, family habits, or just not enough hours in the day, clutter is simply a part of life. We experience fleeting moments of pristine organization, only for them to be disrupted almost immediately. We may buy Marie Kondo’s guide, follow decluttering accounts on social media, and teach our families where things belong, but inevitably, there’s a sock left on the counter or a homework packet on the couch, and we question if they even heard us at all.

If you find yourself battling clutter regularly and are mystified by how others maintain clean homes, know that you’re not alone. I’m right there with you. It’s a mystery to me too. Now, I’m off to clean my kitchen again, only to watch it descend into chaos once more in a matter of minutes. At least that wine bottle will still be there, though.

For more insights on home organization and family life, check out our other blog posts, like this one on home insemination kit or visit Make a Mom for expert advice on fertility and home insemination or March of Dimes for helpful pregnancy resources.

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In summary, managing clutter in our homes can be a significant source of stress, particularly for parents juggling the demands of family life. While we cherish our families, the chaos can sometimes feel overwhelming. Remember, you’re not alone in this struggle, and finding solutions is a journey we can all navigate together.