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My daughter recently decided she wanted to shave her legs. With many of her friends sporting shorts and smooth skin, she felt ready to join in. I assured her that I would support her choice and help her if she needed it. I also reminded her that the decision to shave—or not—was entirely hers to make. If she preferred to wait or skip it altogether, that was perfectly fine.
When she chose to go ahead, we sat together on the edge of the tub, and I helped her shave. That was a few weeks ago, and since then, she hasn’t shown interest in doing it again. Maybe it wasn’t as significant as she thought, or perhaps she simply doesn’t mind having body hair. Either way, I’m okay with her decision.
During my own middle school years, shaving legs signified growing up. It was almost a rite of passage, and girls were expected to start this practice between fifth and seventh grade. I barely had any leg hair, but the pressure to conform was overwhelming. I learned the hard way that shaving came with its own set of challenges—nicked skin and burns from hair removal cream were just a few. I believed that shaving would somehow make me more popular or attractive, but it didn’t turn out that way.
In the past, not shaving was often associated with a counterculture lifestyle. Nowadays, many people embrace their natural body hair, and it feels empowering to have that option. I still remember my first and painful experience with hair removal lotion. I miscalculated the timing and ended up with a burning sensation on my legs.
Social media platforms today showcase individuals, including women, who choose not to shave their armpits, asking why men don’t face the same societal expectations. Why did we ever think that removing hair was a necessary part of our beauty routine?
I teach my kids that if they are ready to shave, I’ll guide them on how to do it safely. But if they decide against it for any reason, that’s completely fine too. They have the freedom to change their minds at any time.
This philosophy also extends to how they express themselves through clothing, hairstyles, and hobbies. As long as their choices are safe and appropriate for the situation (hello, school dress codes!), I encourage them to explore their individuality. It’s wonderful to see them break stereotypes, whether it’s my daughter playing roller hockey or another child drumming in a predominantly male group.
Growing up, I felt constrained by societal norms—like the discomfort of wearing tights to formal events while boys wore comfortable khakis. I want my children to avoid those same experiences. Body hair can stay if it makes them comfortable, or it can go. Their choices need not be justified to anyone.
I hope more parents embrace body positivity and teach their kids that they don’t have to modify their bodies unless they want to. It’s also crucial that my children learn to respect others’ choices. A little more understanding could go a long way.
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In summary, the journey of teaching my tweens about body hair is about empowering them to make their own choices. It’s essential for them to feel comfortable in their own skin, whether that means embracing body hair or opting to remove it. By fostering an environment of acceptance and understanding, I hope to guide them towards confident self-expression.