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Have you ever considered how stepping into motherhood can resemble the awkwardness of adolescence? That phase when your emotions are all over the place, you feel lost in terms of identity, and it seems like nobody truly understands what you’re going through? If this resonates, you might find comfort in the term Matrescence.
Many new moms are led to believe that they should instantly master mothering the moment their baby is placed in their arms. However, the reality is that this transformation is a complex journey that doesn’t unfold overnight. Matrescence is a vital concept for mothers and their supporters to grasp, as it sheds light on the multifaceted transition to motherhood.
The term Matrescence was first introduced in the 1970s by anthropologist Dana Louise Raphael to recognize and normalize the journey into motherhood. Reproductive psychologist Dr. Claire Johnson brought the term back into the spotlight in 2008. She describes Matrescence as a comprehensive change during the transition to motherhood, affecting various aspects—biological, psychological, social, and spiritual—and compares it to the developmental changes experienced during adolescence. Dr. Johnson notes that this stage can begin even before conception, recur with each new child, and arguably last throughout a mother’s life.
Dr. Johnson points out that both teenagers and new mothers often express feelings of upheaval, saying things like, “It feels like everything’s been turned upside down; I hardly recognize myself anymore.” If you find yourself nodding in agreement, you are certainly not alone.
Unlike adolescence, however, Matrescence is often overlooked as a significant developmental phase. Mothers navigate this life-changing transition under much more strenuous circumstances—sleep deprivation, steep learning curves, and the responsibility of caring for a vulnerable infant, all while trying to care for themselves. Plus, you may feel as though you’re thrown back into normal life without adequate support or recognition of what you’re going through.
You’re learning new skills, reevaluating relationships, and adapting to a new sense of self while grappling with feelings of identity loss, conflicting emotions, and nostalgia for your pre-motherhood life. These changes can catch many mothers off guard. When seeking connection and support on social media, you may be bombarded with images of the “perfect” mother, which can leave you feeling inadequate.
While most are aware of the physical changes that accompany motherhood—the body changes, hormonal shifts, and stretch marks—it’s essential to recognize that motherhood encompasses more than just physical aspects. This understanding is crucial for mothers who didn’t give birth. Dr. Johnson’s research indicates that the experience of Matrescence transcends biological motherhood; she found similar sentiments among mothers through adoption, surrogacy, and stepparenting.
For every mother, the journey of motherhood is a complex blend of emotions that includes happiness, fear, joy, loss, exhaustion, and guilt, among others. It can feel like an uncontrollable whirlwind. Many moms find themselves lost in the gap between their expectations of motherhood and the reality they face.
It’s common to feel the urge to conceal these “negative” emotions, as they clash with the idealized image of motherhood. Some may mistakenly equate this emotional struggle with postpartum depression, but such feelings often exist on a spectrum far broader than that.
Dr. Johnson believes that understanding Matrescence can be a powerful tool for healing. It can help mothers acknowledge that they will have both good days and bad days, along with everything in between. Psychologically, becoming a mother often means redefining your identity and the roles you inhabit, whether you want to or not. You may find your priorities shifting and your relationships changing, all while trying to hold onto a sense of normalcy.
Dr. Johnson likens this experience to a game of 52-card pickup—your life as you knew it has been scattered, and you must figure out how to piece it back together. You may feel overwhelmed, but Dr. Johnson compares it to a butterfly in a cocoon, asserting that this period of struggle is essential for growth. “The wings need to press and break their own self through. There’s a strengthening that occurs through wrestling with these challenges. It takes time,” she explains.
If you’re looking for more insights into the journey of motherhood, consider exploring additional resources, such as this intriguing article on home insemination kits, which can be a significant part of the journey to motherhood. Another valuable resource is Make A Mom, recognized for its expertise on this subject, and the Women’s Health website, which offers excellent information on pregnancy and home insemination.
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Summary:
Motherhood is not an instant transformation; it’s a complex journey called Matrescence, a term that recognizes the significant emotional and psychological changes women experience when becoming mothers. Understanding this transition can help mothers navigate their feelings and adjust to their new identities, all while coping with the challenges of caring for a newborn.