My Ex-Husband Was Unfaithful to His Girlfriend — Why I Haven’t Said Anything (Yet…)

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Two and a half years ago, my ex-husband betrayed me. Now, he’s also cheated on his current girlfriend. I know he has lied to her, and I find myself contemplating whether I should inform her.

Opinions vary widely on this matter. Some argue that it’s not my responsibility to intervene, while others insist she has a right to know the truth. There are even those who believe I should have spoken up long ago, but now it seems too late.

Despite all the advice I receive, I feel paralyzed when it comes to acting. My ex-husband’s infidelity was the breaking point for our divorce, but there were nearly twenty years of deceit and addiction preceding our separation. He is a master manipulator, hiding deep-seated issues behind a façade of charm and kindness.

He informed me about dating someone new while we were organizing our son’s birthday party, just three months after I filed for divorce. I was emotionally wrecked, yet I maintained a composed exterior for the sake of our child. It was shocking to see how quickly he moved on, but in hindsight, I shouldn’t have been surprised; he was already involved with someone else during our marriage. Revealing this during our child’s celebration felt like a cruel game.

Now, two years later, he is still with this woman, whom I’ll call Emily. They are planning to cohabitate, and Emily has young sons who view my ex as a stable father figure. My son also sees Emily as an important adult in his life. By all accounts, she is a wonderful mother.

I genuinely believe she deserves to know that he has cheated on her. However, I also worry about the potential upheaval for the children if I were to disclose the truth. Staying silent means I am complicit in my ex’s deception, but speaking out could disrupt their lives.

Would you want to know if the man you thought was perfect was actually a skilled liar with serious problems? If I were in her shoes, I would want to know the truth before making significant commitments, like moving in together or getting married. However, not everyone shares the same values about honesty in relationships. Some prefer to enjoy their lives without confronting hidden issues.

Rest assured, my concerns are based on facts. My ex admitted to me that he cheated, and I have corroborating evidence from the other woman. A dramatic turn of events led me to discover this information months after our divorce. The husband of my ex’s mistress reached out to me, revealing that he had caught them together again. He confirmed that she admitted to sleeping with my ex after a work event, an occasion I had cherished as his wife. When I confronted my ex with this information, he initially lied but eventually admitted the truth after I highlighted inconsistencies in his story.

Now, I find myself with knowledge about my ex-husband’s infidelity towards his current girlfriend. Emily and I share a bond; we are two women who loved the same charming deceiver and experienced his betrayal. The difference is that she remains oblivious, while I know the reality of who he truly is. I fear that it’s only a matter of time before her world shatters too, leaving her heartbroken and confused.

I wrestle with my intentions. Am I being compassionate by considering her feelings, or am I simply protecting my ex? If I reveal the truth, it could devastate many lives, including the children’s. But if I stay silent, am I allowing another woman to walk blindly into heartache?

These questions haunt me daily. I never imagined that two years later, I would still be in this emotional turmoil, typing at my kitchen island, searching for clarity. The confusion and doubt remain, and I’m left wondering what my next step should be.