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Two months ago, I opened up to my social media audience about a tough battle I was facing. Along with preparing for surgery to remove my breast implants due to ongoing pain and symptoms, I discovered a lump that led to a diagnosis of breast cancer for the second time in four years. I reached out to my doctor, and after numerous appointments and tests, the reality hit me hard: I was dealing with cancer again.
I decided to share my journey because hiding the truth felt overwhelming. I believe in transforming personal struggles into advocacy and education, hoping to help others who might be facing similar challenges. After announcing my diagnosis, I gained thousands of followers in just a few weeks, but that surge abruptly halted when I began posting about the essential work of anti-racism.
Initially, my posts centered around my surgeries and recovery updates, alongside my long-standing advocacy for self-breast exams. I welcomed many new followers, some of whom shared their own cancer stories. I received an outpouring of support, including thoughtful gifts and encouraging messages.
However, when I shifted to discussing anti-racism, my follower count started to dwindle—dropping by dozens, then hundreds. It seemed that while my cancer journey (or what some termed “trauma porn”) drew sympathy and support, my emphasis on racism made many uncomfortable enough to unfollow me.
I’ve received messages telling me what topics I should avoid discussing, with some accusing me of being “racist against white people.” I remind them that such a concept doesn’t exist, much like colorblindness or reverse racism. They often express that they prefer my health updates over political discussions, but I insist that anti-racism is a moral imperative that influences all aspects of life.
It seems my battle with cancer resonates more profoundly with them than the realities of racism that my children and others face daily. When I called attention to the unfollowing trend, some responded with “good riddance.” At first, I agreed, thinking that those who can’t handle uncomfortable conversations don’t deserve to stay. But the more I reflect, the more it disturbs me. If they can’t bear to hear a white woman discussing these issues, I can only imagine their dismissal of BIPOC voices.
This pattern perpetuates white supremacy, built on privilege and fragility. Their entrenched beliefs about themselves and people of color manifest in their actions, whether in meetings, sports fields, or other spaces. Racism spreads insidiously through microaggressions and stereotypes.
Ironically, these individuals need to engage with and unlearn racial inequity more than anyone, but they choose to disengage. They would rather witness my physical health struggles than learn to advocate for marginalized communities and dismantle systems of oppression.
I refuse to stop addressing anti-racism, even if it means losing followers. Popularity isn’t my goal. I’m not here to prove I’m an ally or a social justice advocate; my focus is on sharing information that can help others. I wish my children’s lives and rights mattered as much as the sympathy surrounding my health updates.
Ignoring the realities faced by people of color only reinforces systemic inequities. Ignorance isn’t bliss; it’s harmful to the Black community. The stakes are high, and it’s every white person’s responsibility to confront and dismantle harmful systems. Choosing distraction over meaningful engagement won’t help create a fairer society.
To those who unfollowed me, I noticed, but I don’t need your validation. What troubles me is the reason behind your departure. I wonder when you might wake up to realize that the lives of others are just as valuable as your own.
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In summary, sharing my cancer journey brought support and followers, but discussing anti-racism resulted in a significant loss of followers. This experience highlights the discomfort some feel when confronting issues of race, revealing deeper societal challenges. My commitment to advocating for anti-racism remains steadfast, as I believe in the importance of addressing these critical issues for the betterment of our communities.