Yes, Plus-Size Women Have (And Enjoy) Sex

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I identify as a plus-size woman and have been one my entire life. Being plus-size means that I often bear the weight of other people’s misconceptions about who I am, how I behave, what I eat, how active I am, and how I feel about my own body.

Many assume that my size indicates I’m perpetually dieting, as though I’m desperate to shed pounds. Others think that my diet consists solely of burgers and that my “issue” could be solved by simply eating a salad—if I had any understanding of nutrition at all.

I’ve encountered people who believe I’ve never set foot in a gym. Conversely, some mockingly chuckle at my efforts when they see me working out, which is rather disheartening. And don’t even get me started on the multitude of myths surrounding plus-size women and sex.

Often, plus-size women are depicted as either sexual late bloomers, ashamed of our bodies and hiding them away, or as uninhibited sex-crazed individuals, oblivious to the idea that anyone might not want us.

From my early teenage years, I’ve been faced with men assuming I’d be an easy target simply because I’d be grateful for any attention. On the flip side, some think I must be inexperienced since it’s “hard” for someone like me to find partners. The stereotype that plus-size women are great at oral sex is also rampant—because, apparently, we’re just eager to put anything in our mouths, right?

With so many conflicting stereotypes about plus-size women and sex, let’s be candid. I’ve had sex while being plus-size my entire life, and I know plenty of other plus-size women. After gathering some insights, I’ll share what I’ve found: many stereotypes about us and sex hold some truth, except for the idea that we’re desperate.

Some of us were indeed late bloomers; some have pursued men who didn’t deserve us, while others enjoy casual encounters. Many of us find partners who appreciate us for who we are, and yes, a lot of us excel in intimate encounters—thank you very much!

In reality, our sexual experiences mirror those of everyone else. We go through dry spells, have fulfilling connections, feel lonely, fall in love, or simply seek pleasure. Regardless of whether it’s a casual fling or a long-term relationship, we enjoy fun, flirty, and passionate intimacy.

Yes, there are those who may pursue us out of curiosity or shame, but there are plenty of people who genuinely like us, not because of or despite our size. They find us attractive and appreciate us holistically.

If your notion of sex with a plus-size woman involves a shy, body-conscious figure lying still while a mediocre partner does the work, then you’re mistaken. And if you picture a cartoonish scenario where a clueless plus-size woman dances around, you’ve got it wrong too.

So, what’s sex really like for plus-size women? Picture two consenting adults engaging in all the activities they enjoy. Now, swap one of them for a plus-size woman. You’re getting warmer. We do all the things—you can bet on that.

The narrative surrounding fat bodies in discussions about healthy, exciting, and fulfilling sex is simply misguided, often perpetuated by Hollywood and the diet culture that profits off our insecurities. In real life, plus-size women are out here enjoying our sexual lives, and our partners are more than happy to join us. Great sex is for all bodies that desire it, and plus-size women are no exception.

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Summary

This article challenges the stereotypes surrounding plus-size women and their sexual experiences, revealing that they are just as diverse and fulfilling as anyone else’s. It emphasizes the importance of recognizing plus-size women’s desires and experiences, shattering myths and promoting a more inclusive understanding of intimacy.

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