home insemination kits with syringes
A while back, I collaborated with a male coworker, someone generally seen as a “good guy,” who had difficulty accepting feedback during a brainstorming session. His demeanor was brusque and dismissive. I found myself apologizing. He did not. On another occasion, when I pointed out some inaccuracies made by another male colleague, he reacted with hostility and humiliation. Again, I apologized. He did not.
We could argue whether my apologies were necessary, but that point is moot. The real issue wasn’t my willingness to apologize; it was that my male colleagues felt no need to do the same.
Women receive an overwhelming amount of professional guidance — much of which is misguided. Foremost among these is the persistent narrative that we should stop apologizing.
As Cindy Gallop and Tomas Chamorro-Premuzic noted in Harvard Business Review, women are often advised to adjust their language: to be less apologetic and more assertive. The list of things we’re told to avoid is extensive: Don’t say “just.” Don’t seek permission. Don’t doubt yourself. And whatever you do, DON’T apologize.
This trend has gained traction over the past few years. Initially, I thought there was some validity to it. Why was I saying “sorry” for not receiving an email? Why was I apologizing for having a scheduling conflict? Did I truly need to say “I’m sorry” when a colleague didn’t grasp the context because they hadn’t read previous communications? Clearly, I didn’t. Yet, the advice — almost exclusively directed at women — didn’t resonate with me. What’s inherently wrong with a few polite, albeit unnecessary, “I’m sorry”s? Did a handful of empty apologies truly hinder my potential? Absolutely not.
When Rachel Hollis — yes, that Rachel Hollis, who famously refuses to apologize — released her book Girl, Stop Apologizing, the message became clear. This isn’t about empowering women; it’s about silencing us.
While those “I’m sorry”s may seem superfluous, they can contribute to a more pleasant, respectful environment for everyone. Rather than urging women to apologize less, we should be encouraging men to apologize more. Gallop and Chamorro-Premuzic put it aptly in Harvard Business Review: “We need to focus less on editing women and more on holding incompetent and inappropriate men accountable.”
Apologies, even if deemed unnecessary, can be beneficial. They can help defuse tense situations, mitigate defensiveness, and express humility. Dr. Deborah Tannen, a linguistics professor at Georgetown, shared with the New York Times that apologizing is an inherent part of our communication.
“Requesting people to stop apologizing is akin to asking them to refrain from saying hello or goodbye. These automatic courtesies facilitate our cohabitation,” Dr. Tannen stated. She echoed the sentiment of Harvard Business Review, stressing that the real issue isn’t whether women are over-apologizing, but whether men are under-apologizing.
The surge in the #stopapologizing movement made me scrutinize my own behavior. I began to omit those extra “I’m sorry, but…” from my emails. I stopped apologizing for misunderstandings when I knew I wasn’t at fault. And what was the outcome? Nothing. Well, nothing beneficial, anyway. I wasn’t perceived as more assertive or confident. Men didn’t suddenly take responsibility for their missteps. I didn’t find myself promoted or respected more. Instead, I felt worse about myself, weary from constantly second-guessing my words. It felt unnatural and somewhat demeaning.
Let me clarify: I’m not suggesting that women who are assertive or who tend to avoid needless apologies are in the wrong, nor do I believe individuals should feel pressured to apologize unnecessarily. Not. At. All.
What I’m emphasizing is that women who apologize more often than needed aren’t the issue. The real problem lies with men who don’t apologize enough.
There’s a broader trend of stifling women under the guise of “empowerment.” To that, I call nonsense. True empowerment allows women to be themselves, to be respected even when they apologize or defer to others. It means women shouldn’t have to second-guess their words or actions. Respect should be a given.
Let’s abandon toxic advice. As stated in Harvard Business Review, “A better piece of guidance for women? Speak freely and in any manner you choose.”
For additional insights on home insemination, check out this post on intracervical insemination and learn more about essential tools at Make a Mom’s artificial insemination kit. If you’re looking for valuable resources on pregnancy and home insemination, IVF Babble is an excellent choice.
Here are some search queries you might find useful:
– home insemination kit
– self insemination techniques
– how to use a home insemination syringe
– at home insemination process
– effective home insemination methods
In summary, rather than pressuring women to minimize their apologies, we should encourage men to take responsibility and acknowledge their mistakes. Apologizing can foster a more respectful and harmonious environment for everyone. Empowerment means allowing women the freedom to express themselves without fear of judgment.