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As a young widow navigating the grief of losing my husband to COVID-19 while raising two small children, I find it incredibly frustrating when I hear claims that “children are not impacted by COVID.” Over the past year, I have witnessed my three-year-old daughter, Lily, struggle to comprehend that her Daddy will never come home again.
I’ve had to explain to her that Daddy went to the hospital to get better but sadly, he was too ill to recover. I’ve tried to comfort her by saying that because his heart stopped, he is now in heaven, watching over us, even though we can’t see him. It breaks my heart to see her lose interest in the foods she once loved, and I often catch her staring off into space, a look of sadness on her face as she longs for her father.
For months, she stood by the door as she always did, waiting for her Daddy to come upstairs and greet her. I’ve listened to her innocent questions, like “Where is Daddy?” or “When is Daddy coming home?” I’ve felt helpless as she expresses her love and longing for him, wishing for just one more hug. During her tough moments, I’ve held her close, trying to ease her pain as best as I can.
Each night, I’ve watched her kiss a picture of Daddy before bed, saying, “Goodnight, Daddy in heaven, I love you.” She carries around a photo of him, hugging the frame tightly, wishing for a real embrace. She often requests to watch videos of him singing her favorite songs, repeating them over and over, holding on to those memories. I’ve seen her reminisce about her second birthday, recalling how they made a special cake together. She even reaches for the sky, exclaiming, “I can’t reach Daddy, he’s too high up in the clouds.”
My youngest, a 17-month-old named Jamie, was just a baby when his father fell ill and passed away. The painful reality is that he won’t have his own memories of Daddy; he will rely on photographs and stories from us as he grows. This thought is heartbreaking. Watching him blossom into a joyful toddler brings me happiness, but I can’t help but wonder how the loss of his father will affect him when he’s old enough to understand why he doesn’t have a Daddy like his friends do.
Lily has made significant progress in the past year, but COVID has irrevocably altered the lives of her and Jamie, just like it has for the estimated 40,000 other children who have lost a parent to this virus. We cannot dismiss the impact of COVID on children; I witness it every day. Since founding the Young Widows and Widowers of COVID-19 support group, I’ve connected with many remarkable individuals facing similar challenges. Through sharing our experiences, I’ve seen firsthand how our children are coping with their grief.
This is our reality: juggling our own grief while helping our children navigate theirs. It’s a heavy burden to bear. All of us in the group have seen how profoundly COVID has affected our children, who are now some of the youngest victims of this pandemic, forced to grow up without a mother or father. So please, before you say that children aren’t affected, remember that many young lives have been irrevocably changed due to the loss of a parent to COVID.
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In summary, the impact of COVID-19 on children is profound and heartbreaking. My experiences as a young widow with two children highlight the emotional toll this pandemic has taken on families. As we navigate our grief, it is essential to recognize and support the younger victims of this crisis.