Being Romantic Is More About Thoughtfulness Than Grand Gestures

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In the past, my partner, Ava, believed that giving me a card on special occasions was optional. It didn’t take long for her to realize that it was essential, and she quickly corrected her oversight. To her credit, we were new to each other back then. Since that early misstep, she has consistently made sure I receive a card. I’m guilty of my own relationship blunders too; for instance, I hesitated to leave our young child with a babysitter for a date. Later, when our twins came along, I found it just as challenging to step out, even if it was to strengthen our bond. A night out could always wait, right? We’d likely end up talking about our kids anyway, which definitely dampens the romance.

Recognizing the need for balance in our romantic lives, we established some guidelines. Now, we prioritize our relationship in every way, especially when it comes to romance. Let’s face it: prioritizing anyone other than your kids can be tough. However, your partner deserves that attention amidst the whirlwind of family life. For Ava and me, being romantic means putting forth effort, and the rewards are significant. It doesn’t have to be an extravagant display; sometimes, simply disconnecting from distractions, shutting off the television, and sitting close together to talk can be enough. When was the last time you did that?

Ava and I share a calendar on our phones. While she doesn’t often check it, when I remind her about a date night, she frequently responds with surprise, “We do?” and suddenly, it’s a delightful revelation that we have time away from the kids. The key is to carve out moments to engage without interruptions. Living near the ocean, we often walk on the beach after dinner, enjoying the calm and connection.

Linda Carter, a relationship expert, emphasizes the importance of small, meaningful gestures over grand gifts in creating a healthy relationship. So, take that thoughtful action—follow it up with a lovely beach stroll.

Sundays in our home are sacred; we mostly switch off from work and school obligations. Occasionally, I’ll order Ava’s favorite curry from her go-to Indian restaurant. Although it’s not my favorite cuisine, the act of ordering her preferred dish is a heartfelt gesture that shows I care. It’s all about putting her needs ahead of my own, and in the hustle of everyday life, we can easily overlook how impactful such gestures can be.

When Ava and I started dating, we connected online when that was the norm. After a month of emails, we finally met in person. Leave a sweet note for your partner in their car, like “Thinking of you today!” or “Have a wonderful day!” It’s these simple, thoughtful messages that remind them of your affection. Instead of impersonal texts, return to heartfelt communication. Your words truly matter.

Flowers are another lovely surprise. Occasionally, I’ll have flowers delivered to Ava’s office, and she always appreciates it. Who wouldn’t enjoy feeling cherished at work? Whether it’s flowers or another small gift, the sentiment is what counts.

But if you find yourself out of romantic ideas—maybe you can’t order something online, or your partner seems to have everything—there’s a simple solution: go to bed naked. There’s something delightful about slipping under the covers to find your partner waiting for you, and it can lead to meaningful connection and intimacy, whether or not it progresses to sex.

Ultimately, being romantic is about creating space and showing thoughtfulness for your loved one. Romance doesn’t need to be elaborate; often, it’s the small, caring gestures that resonate the most with the heart.

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Summary

Being romantic is less about grand surprises and more about thoughtful gestures that show your partner you care. Simple actions like leaving notes, sharing meals, or enjoying quiet conversations can significantly enhance your relationship. Prioritizing your partner amidst the chaos of family life is essential for a healthy bond.