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From the moment I can remember, the dream of motherhood was deeply ingrained in me. I carried around my beloved brown-haired doll, complete with her adoption certificate, imagining myself as a loving mom. Before I had my own kids, I envisioned a life filled with joyful moments: my children calling me “mom,” attending their school events, joining the PTA, and baking homemade cookies every week to welcome them home.
For years, I struggled with the absence of my own mother, trying to fill that void by calling other women “mom,” but it never felt right. I longed to be the mother I never had, believing I could do it all by myself. However, I’ve come to realize that motherhood is not a solitary journey; it thrives on the support of a community. This Mother’s Day, I want to express my gratitude for the remarkable women in my life. As I age, I understand my identity as a mother better, shaped not just by the absence of my own mother, but by the incredible women surrounding me.
According to a 2013 report from the Pew Research Center, there were 7 million children in the U.S., with 3 million living with a grandparent as their primary caregiver. I was one of those children, raised by my maternal grandparents who provided me with all the love and care that only southern grandparents could. My grandmother taught me the importance of creating a warm and welcoming home. She instilled in me a belief in love’s power, a principle I cling to during challenging times.
I often reflect on Oprah Winfrey’s wisdom: “Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more…” My grandmother may not have been my biological mother, but she stepped into that role when I needed her the most, embodying resilience and strength.
While some people may have strained relationships with their in-laws, I count myself fortunate. My partner and I enjoy healthy, positive relationships with our families, especially with my mother-in-law. She has imparted invaluable lessons about balancing work and motherhood, always checking in on me, reminding me to take care of myself, and even assisting in my gardening endeavors.
As women, we have the freedom to choose how we engage with the world. Jill Churchill beautifully stated, “There is no way to a perfect mother-in-law but millions of ways to be a good one.” My mother-in-law lovingly nudges me in ways I know I’ll emulate with my own future children. Building our relationship took time and effort, but the investment was worth it for the sake of our family.
Motherhood has turned out to be far richer and more rewarding than I ever imagined. It brings challenges and joys in equal measure. This Mother’s Day, I choose to celebrate the extraordinary women in my life who constitute my community. The bonds we create are essential, not just for our own well-being but also for the well-being of our children. When we cherish the women around us—whether they are biological mothers or not—we uplift ourselves and our families.
Read more about how community support plays a crucial role in motherhood.
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In summary, this Mother’s Day, I reflect on the vital role that the women in my life have played in shaping my experience as a mother. Their support and love inspire me every day, reminding me that the journey of motherhood is a shared path.