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“I heard some guy had quite the encounter with her while she was bent over the kitchen counter,” said Jake.
“Really?”
“And she’s been with nearly every guy at the hostel. It’s just wrong.”
We were sitting in a bustling courtyard filled with food trucks near the lively bars of Budapest. I was in the midst of a year-long solo journey around the globe. Jake, from Australia, was also exploring Europe alone for a few months.
As I listened to him critique another woman’s choices, I reflected on the men I’d been with during my travels. Just three months in, I had already been with seven, including him. In Malta, I shared a moment with a charming Argentinian in the hostel showers. In Pisa, I had a romantic fling with an Italian construction worker who adored opera. There was also the fit German guy I met on the beach in San Sebastián; despite our language barrier, we understood the desire to connect physically. Then in Barcelona, I had a passionate encounter with an older Belgian man upstairs at a rave in a castle. Just the day before meeting Jake in Budapest, I had a steamy rendezvous with a Portuguese business student in his hostel room while his friend slept above us (he assured me it was all good).
But I didn’t share any of this with Jake. Instead, I quietly chewed on my veggie burger, thinking that the woman he was talking about could have easily been me.
I reassured myself that I wouldn’t have done what she did. While I wouldn’t have engaged in such a public act, it was clear that separating myself from her was arbitrary. She could have been me. I should have supported her.
In reality, we were all partaking in casual encounters at that hostel. Jake, myself, and seemingly everyone else were indulging in the very same thing. It’s what happens when a group of young travelers gather, enjoying the nightlife and freedom of youth. So who was Jake to judge?
Regrettably, I held back my thoughts, fearing his opinion of me, and chose silence.
Many of us, especially those from the millennial generation and older, have been bombarded with confusing messages about sex. On one hand, we embrace it; hookups are commonplace. Yet on the other hand, those who engage in numerous encounters are often viewed as morally lacking. We tend to gossip about those who explore their sexuality, and women, in particular, face scrutiny for being either too reserved or overly promiscuous.
Not long ago, my friends and I fretted over our “numbers,” worrying that each new partner diminished our worth. The film What’s Your Number perpetuated the idea that a woman with a high count would struggle to find a partner, which is fundamentally flawed.
I admit that intimacy isn’t always as idyllic as it seems. It can be messy, regrettable, or thoughtless. It can lead to STIs or become a means of exerting power. Yet, at its core, when consensual and safe, sex is a beautiful and healthy expression of human connection.
We often overlook this narrative. So here I am, sharing my story: I engaged in intimacy with 16 partners during my year abroad, and it was beautiful. Each encounter, though brief, was meaningful, and we both experienced freedom from the weight of future expectations. We focused on the pleasure of our bodies and made lasting memories together.
How can anyone judge me for that? Or judge that woman in the hostel? Sex is a gift, a form of escape, and a chance to connect deeply with another human.
As Osho said, everything beautiful is tied to sex — from a bird’s song to a blooming flower. Why, then, is human intimacy often perceived as something negative?
Ultimately, we should not feel ashamed of our sexual experiences; it’s society’s shame that makes it seem dirty. Let’s celebrate our choices and embrace our stories. I had sex with 16 men while traveling, and it was incredibly fulfilling. What’s your number?
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Summary:
In this reflective piece, the author shares her experiences of engaging intimately with 16 partners during a year of travel. She challenges societal judgments surrounding sexual behavior, emphasizing the beauty of consensual encounters and the importance of celebrating personal choices without shame. The narrative encourages readers to embrace their own stories and redefine societal norms regarding sexuality.