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Like many individuals from Generation X, I experienced spanking during my childhood. It wasn’t frequent and was never excessively harsh. My parents always followed a spanking with a calm discussion about the behavior that led to the punishment. This approach seemed standard among my family and peers, and I perceived it as a reasonable way to discipline children. I grew up convinced that spanking was sometimes necessary to effectively communicate expectations to a child.
When I was expecting my now-15-year-old daughter and she was still an infant, I explored various parenting books that advocated for alternative disciplinary methods. However, I was so entrenched in the belief that spanking was essential that I dismissed this advice. I thought experts were merely cautious about endorsing physical punishment, fearing that some parents might conflate structured spankings with outright abuse.
However, recent research reveals that, from a child’s developmental perspective, the distinction between disciplinary spankings and actual abuse may be negligible. Dr. Mia Thompson, a licensed psychologist and school psychologist, recently discussed the findings of a significant Harvard study on spanking with a reporter from Buzzfeed.
“Spanking alters how a child’s brain develops from an early age,” Dr. Thompson explained. “It causes their brain to resemble that of children who have endured severe abuse.”
The Harvard study examined a cohort of children aged 10 and 11, comparing those who had experienced spanking—ranging from infrequent to frequent—to those who had never been spanked. The study excluded cases of severe abuse but utilized existing data for comparative analysis. Each child underwent an MRI while viewing images of actors displaying “fearful” and “neutral” expressions.
Researchers discovered that all children exhibited increased brain activation in response to fearful faces compared to neutral ones, which was expected. However, the children who had been spanked showed a more pronounced reaction to fearful expressions and diminished responses to neutral ones. Alarmingly, Dr. Thompson noted, “When comparing the brain activation results of spanked children to existing data from abused children, there were few differences.”
In essence, even sporadic spanking can provoke brain reactions akin to those seen in abused children.
As my daughter transitioned out of toddlerhood and exhibited signs of ADHD, I began to question the effectiveness of spanking. It became increasingly clear that her behaviors were not rooted in stubbornness or defiance, but rather in impulse control issues—something she could not regulate. How could I justify punishing her for a behavior she couldn’t control? And what impact would hitting her have on her developing personality?
I reduced the frequency of spanking, mimicking my parents’ method but questioning its efficacy. I eventually ceased spanking altogether and sought alternative disciplinary strategies: time-outs (which I later learned could also be detrimental if associated with shame), token systems, therapy, meditation, medication, and extensive discussions.
Dr. Thompson elaborated on the well-documented negative consequences of spanking as a disciplinary approach. “Spanking adversely affects children in numerous ways,” she stated during her Buzzfeed interview. “They are less likely to trust their caregivers, more inclined to hide their misbehavior, and often change their actions primarily to avoid punishment rather than to comprehend the impact of their behaviors on others.”
I witnessed this firsthand with my daughter; instead of internalizing the lessons I intended to impart, she developed avoidance strategies and became increasingly inventive in evading detection.
For many, spanking is a generational tradition, often intertwined with cultural identity. In response, Dr. Thompson noted, “What we sometimes mistake for culture is actually generational trauma. Many of these practices emerged in communities that have faced oppression. Spanking was often a method used to maintain control, and this trauma can be passed down through generations.”
My daughter’s father, who hails from a Peruvian background, also experienced spanking, albeit in a harsher form than I did. He has since expressed regret about how he was disciplined and desires a different approach for our children. Dr. Thompson emphasizes, “Just because it was done to us doesn’t mean we must repeat the cycle with our own children. This isn’t culture; it’s trauma, and it is particularly prevalent in communities of color due to systemic oppression.”
In my predominantly white, Christian upbringing, spanking was entirely normalized and remains so for many. Even among colonizers, this practice was often justified by religious beliefs.
Most parents who resort to spanking do so not out of malice but from a desire to utilize the tools they were given, hoping to guide their children to be responsible adults. The silver lining is that it’s never too late to change and make better-informed parenting decisions. When I stopped spanking my daughter, it transformed our relationship. I firmly believe that our bond has strengthened and that her critical thinking and decision-making skills have flourished without the influence of physical punishment. Now, with scientific evidence indicating that spanking is not only ineffective but potentially harmful to brain development, I echo Dr. Thompson’s sentiment: “Knowing that even mild spanking can fundamentally alter a child’s brain structure to resemble that of an abused child raises the question—why risk it? It simply isn’t worth it.”
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Summary:
Dr. Mia Thompson shares vital insights on the impact of spanking on child development, revealing that even mild forms of spanking can alter a child’s brain development to resemble that of abused children. The conversation highlights the need for alternative disciplinary methods and the importance of understanding the long-term effects of physical punishment.