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Last weekend, I spent a delightful day outdoors with my children. My youngest has developed a passion for gardening, diligently transplanting herbs around our duck house and placing the vegetables he started this winter into the garden beds. My eldest was thrilled to assist his father, delving into the plumbing trade and relishing the independence his job brings. He’s even bought his own car, pays for his own fuel, and loves watching his savings grow.
After work, he enjoyed an afternoon of fishing while my daughter and I relaxed on the back deck, observing the ducks waddling around the yard.
In the past, my Saturdays were filled with basketball games and later, I’d find myself sitting through baseball matches in the spring. We used to be immersed in sports year-round. With three kids, that was quite the commitment, but I cherished every moment.
I always assumed they would grow to love baseball, lacrosse, basketball, and ski club. However, as time passed, it became evident that their enthusiasm for sports began to dwindle, and they were no longer having fun. Part of me wanted to encourage them to stick with it; after all, they had talent, and I believed in the importance of perseverance and hard work. But it was clear they were becoming unhappy and had other interests they wanted to pursue.
Yes, it’s possible to fit everything in, but who wants to live that way? Personally, I’m exhausted from the glorification of busyness, giving my kids mere snippets of time to engage in activities that I think they should enjoy, rather than letting them explore what truly interests them.
My eldest son chose to forgo basketball games and Friday night ski club for time in the gym. He’s passionate about weightlifting and invests time researching exercises and nutrition to support his goals. His knowledge about cars astounds me; he can change tires and diagnose problems I can’t even begin to understand.
After trying to persuade my younger two to stay with sports and clubs they were clearly over, it became obvious that they were unhappy. I recognized that attempting to keep them engaged in activities they were not interested in was unproductive for all of us. Instead of forcing them to attend games and practices they dreaded, I realized it was more beneficial to allow them the freedom to discover new interests and hobbies they might not have explored if I had dictated their activities.
I understood that while I wanted them to commit to certain pursuits, my primary role was to listen to their desires and give them opportunities to explore unconventional activities like gardening, raising ducks, and working on cars.
We constantly encourage our children to find their voice, be authentic, and stand up for their beliefs. Therefore, it felt contradictory to insist they dedicate more time to baseball or lacrosse when they were clearly expressing their preferences.
While there are moments when parents must intervene for their children’s well-being, as my kids reached middle school, I felt confident that they were the best judges of whether or not to continue with specific activities.
Ultimately, it’s not about my aspirations for them; they alone know what ignites their passion. If their interests don’t include sports or team activities, I refuse to be the reason they remain in a space that doesn’t resonate with their true selves.
My children have thrived in their chosen paths. They enjoy their jobs, love being creative, and find joy in their time with animals and experimenting in the garden. I’m certain they wouldn’t have discovered these passions had I insisted they keep up with sports.
It’s crucial for me to provide my kids with the space to develop and explore interests that may not seem significant for college applications or resumes. Witnessing their happiness in these unique pursuits is always worthwhile to me.
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Summary:
This article discusses the author’s decision not to pressure her children into sports or traditional activities, emphasizing the importance of allowing them to explore their passions. The author shares personal experiences, highlighting her children’s happiness in non-traditional interests like gardening and automotive work, and advocates for listening to children’s voices in their pursuits.