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We’ve all encountered them during our formative years. Perhaps you were a target, or maybe you played the role of the mean girl yourself. It’s rare for any girl to navigate childhood and adolescence without feeling the impact of mean girls. Just when you think you’ve escaped that drama, you find out that these mean girls often evolve into mean moms, perpetuating the cycle by raising the next generation of Regina Georges.
It’s our responsibility as mothers to break this cycle. We must nurture kind-hearted daughters—girls who embrace inclusivity, uplift one another, and avoid opportunities to belittle others. This requires active and ongoing parenting. Too often, parents are oblivious to the fact that they are raising mean girls until they discover their child has engaged in unkind behaviors.
Given our shared experiences with mean girls in our youth (and the unfortunate reality that some never truly grow up), our confessional is filled with stories of hurt and betrayal. Many women still feel the scars of their encounters, and some mothers are haunted as they witness the same cruel behaviors unfold in their children.
Is there a tactful way to express that “actually your mom is a mean girl with awful skin” when her kids idolize her? After 15 years, I’m just done with it all.
Confessions of Mean Girl Encounters
Confessional #25833689
I can spot a mean girl from a distance. The girls in my daughter’s third-grade class dress just like their catty moms—always in athleisure and messy buns. I’ve told my daughter to respond with kindness. It’s shocking how early this pettiness begins.
Confessional #25750472
My “friend” hasn’t matured since high school. She still acts like a mean girl, just in a frumpy middle-aged body.
Confessional #25815314
Church communities often harbor the worst mean girls—those middle-aged ones. I wouldn’t mind if it weren’t for the potential hurt they could inflict on my little girl. My husband and I have agreed that if they cross a line, we won’t hold back.
Confessional #24726977
Seeing mean girl moms is like reliving the horrors of middle school. It’s even more disheartening to know they’re raising future mean girls. My coworker reported me over something trivial today. Some people really shouldn’t hold any authority. I can’t wait to leave this toxic environment.
Confessional #25754595
I truly hope the mean girl moms realize how insignificant they make me feel when they act as if I don’t exist, even when I’m right beside them. I wish they could experience that feeling one day and feel ashamed.
Confessional #25753533
Is it worse that they intentionally exclude me, or that I’m simply an afterthought? The adult version of mean girls is just as hurtful.
Confessional #24934233
We still feel the sting of “mean girl” behavior as adults—being left out, ignored, or hearing whispers behind our backs. The pain remains just as raw as it did in our youth.
Confessional #25818602
A few of my coworkers are deliberately ignoring me, and honestly, I feel relieved. They’re the quintessential mean girls, and I’m glad to distance myself from them.
Confessional #25761423
I once had a friend who sent out a mass email mocking another member of our mommy group. Mean girls don’t disappear after high school—I cut ties with her and I’m better off without that negativity.
Confessional #23864674
The best course of action is often to eliminate mean girls from your life. It can be challenging, but even if it means your circle shrinks, it’s for the best.
My sister-in-law and mother-in-law are a pair of demanding, fake mean girls. I’ll tolerate them for my husband’s sake, but I refuse to expose my kids to their nonsense any longer.
Confessional #25817822
Sometimes it feels like my own mother and stepmother are just unaware, entitled mean girls in their 70s.
Confessional #25791392
My first encounter with mean girl behavior was as a child raised by a narcissistic mother. School was the least of my worries; I was envious of kids who actually wanted to go home after school.
Confessional #25788028
Beneath the facade of humility, my sister-in-law is a self-satisfied, covert narcissist. Her mean behavior has made it clear I’m not imagining things—she’s just like my sister.
Confessional #25592145
The hardest part is when mean girls are part of your family, and you have to deal with them during holidays or as you navigate adulthood. But let’s channel that pain into our mission of raising kind children.
I recently looked up a former mean girl from high school—she has the perfect life now. I called her workplace pretending to be a woman confessing to an affair with her husband. Sweet revenge, 25 years later.
Confessional #25785264
I still think about how the mean girls treated me in college, and I’m 35 now.
Confessional #25765087
I let friend requests from former high school mean girls linger on my Facebook. Sorry, you can’t spy on my fabulous life. Enjoy your mediocrity—you earned it.
Confessional #23425250
If you’re still harboring resentment towards the girl who made your teenage years miserable, we understand. It’s tough to move on from that.
My teenage daughter’s friends dropped her because we didn’t allow her to socialize during COVID. It’s heartbreaking to see her hurt and feel anger towards those mean girls.
Confessional #25801897
My 10-year-old daughter had a friend who suddenly turned mean. I just want to punch that brat in the face. My daughter wonders what she did wrong. Nothing, sweetheart—she’s just a mean girl.
Confessional #25768431
Watching my daughter cry due to mean girls breaks my heart. I remember that feeling of wanting to fit in, which still lingers. It’s essential to teach children the value of kindness and inclusivity!
Confessional #25757593
A little mean girl was cruel to my daughter today. I’m trying to teach her resilience and the meaning of true friendship, but all I want to do is slap that little brat who made my baby cry.
Confessional #23715066
The ultimate agony, however, is when mean girls target your kids. You want to let them figure things out, just like you did, but you wish you could shield them from those little bullies.
I feel overwhelmed as a mother. My daughters are not at all like I raised them to be; they’ve become the mean girls from movies. They seem to despise each other, and I’m at a loss for how to fix it.
Confessional #23959025
Today, I discovered that my daughter is not just a mean girl, but a bully. Where did I go wrong? My heart is shattered, and I swear I didn’t raise her like that.
Confessional #25751684
I just found out that my 11-year-old daughter has been acting like a mean girl at camp. Where did I fail? I never expected her to behave this way. I’m incredibly disappointed and sickened.
Confessional #25470050
We can’t assume our children aren’t mean. Despite our best efforts, they can still get swept up in mean girl culture. We must engage them in conversations about bullying, understand their friendships, observe their interactions, and ensure they are kind and inclusive.
The harsh reality is that mean girls aren’t going away. They will grow up, remain mean, and raise another generation of insufferable girls. It’s our duty to make sure our children steer clear of that path. We need to empower them to confront bullying and stand up for themselves and others.
As parents, it’s crucial that we combat mean girl culture because every child deserves better.
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Summary
The article discusses the pervasive issue of mean girls, both in childhood and adulthood, and the responsibility of mothers to raise kind, inclusive daughters. It shares confessions from women who recount their experiences with mean girls and emphasizes the importance of breaking the cycle of meanness. It encourages parents to actively engage with their children to prevent mean behavior, fostering a culture of kindness instead.