The Flaws in the Argument: “If You Can’t Afford Kids, Don’t Have Them”

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It’s surprising how often people assert that those who can’t afford children should simply refrain from having them. This sentiment often arises during conversations about universal childcare, extended parental leave, or the rising costs of childbirth. Typically, those who voice this opinion embrace a mindset of rugged individualism, believing that everyone should be responsible for their own welfare. They tend to find the idea of societal support offensive.

However, this argument overlooks several critical factors.

Financial Situations Are Fluid

It’s hard to believe we need to clarify this, but here we are. Many who argue against having children due to financial constraints seem unaware that financial situations can change dramatically over time. A person might start in a challenging financial position but later improve their circumstances through hard work and opportunity. Conversely, someone may begin life with financial stability only to face unexpected setbacks that drain their resources. What do proponents of the “don’t have kids if you can’t afford them” mindset suggest for parents who face unforeseen hardships after having children? Should they simply give their kids away because they suddenly can’t support them?

Moreover, many of those who advocate this viewpoint are often anti-choice. They will insist that if you find yourself facing an unplanned pregnancy, you must follow through with having the child, dismissing the complexities of such a situation as if suggesting adoption is an easy fix.

Rising Costs of Childbirth

The financial burden of childbirth has surged in recent years. For example, I experienced this first-hand with my two children. The birth of my son 15 years ago cost me around $75 out of pocket, while my daughter’s birth just four years later exceeded $1,000—a staggering increase of over 1,000%. This trend reflects a broader issue in the U.S., where childbirth costs continue to skyrocket, making it one of the most expensive countries to give birth, despite having some of the highest risks associated with childbirth.

Increasing Costs of Raising Children

The rising costs don’t stop at childbirth. The expenses associated with raising children have skyrocketed, making it more challenging than ever to start a family. Between 2013 and 2019, childcare costs increased by 16% to 58%, significantly outpacing inflation rates. Wages, meanwhile, have not kept pace with economic growth, leaving many families struggling to make ends meet.

Young People Are Choosing Not to Have Kids Due to Financial Constraints

Recent census data reveals the most significant decline in population growth since 1930, partly due to reduced immigration, but also due to a decreasing birth rate. Many individuals are delaying parenthood, having fewer children, or opting out of it altogether. Young adults today face exorbitant housing costs and are often unable to see how they could afford a child amidst these financial pressures.

Instead of telling people to simply “not have kids if they can’t afford it,” we should be questioning why the U.S. has made it so financially burdensome to raise children and what can be done to address these issues.

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