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The prospect of returning to pre-pandemic normalcy doesn’t fill me with excitement. In fact, the very thought has caused my anxiety to surge, a feeling I haven’t experienced in months. The impact of COVID-19 has been heartbreaking, with countless lives and health affected. While I yearn for the end of this illness and pain, I also recognize that amidst the chaos, some positives have emerged, particularly in how we view education.
For some children, traditional schooling can be a source of distress. It’s not always an acute suffering, but rather a prolonged strain that drains their energy, forcing them to focus on merely coping throughout the day and recuperating during evenings and weekends. I was one of those children, and now my own child finds themselves in a similar situation. Both of us are considered twice exceptional (2E), a term that describes individuals who have at least one area of disability and excel in another.
While I won’t disclose my child’s specific challenges to respect their privacy, I can share my own experiences. I live with ADHD, likely Asperger’s, severe anxiety, OCD, complex PTSD, panic disorder, and heightened sensory sensitivities. I thrive on solitude; excessive social interaction—even with loved ones—leaves me feeling overwhelmed. If I don’t take regular breaks for quiet reflection, I can become physically and mentally distressed.
The typical school environment is often noisy and visually overwhelming, featuring frequent transitions and strict expectations to remain still and quiet. These conditions can be particularly challenging for those of us with ADHD, as we often face rejection sensitive dysphoria (RSD), making minor critiques feel disproportionately painful. Furthermore, research indicates that children with ADHD receive more criticism than their peers, primarily due to their focus and attention difficulties.
There seems to be little refuge from this chaos. The constant hum of activity is ever-present, and once you finally return home, homework can feel like an extension of the school day. (Fortunately, many schools are beginning to reduce homework requirements or move away from them.)
I had previously requested a hybrid learning schedule for my child as part of their IEP, so they could spend part of the week at home. Initially, the administration claimed it wasn’t feasible. However, when the pandemic struck, schools quickly adapted to protect student health. We need to retain these adaptations for kids like mine, who struggle in traditional settings.
While virtual schooling didn’t suit two of my three children, it offered us an opportunity to explore homeschooling during the 2020-2021 school year. I had long considered homeschooling, and the pandemic felt like the perfect time to try it out. My children thrived in this new environment—asking for lessons and moving through subjects more swiftly. They now engage in activities beyond screen time, playing together and exhibiting increased cooperation. My oldest has even taken on additional chores, and the tantrums that once occurred frequently have become rare.
Transitioning away from traditional schooling has also benefited me as a parent. Throughout the pandemic, I managed to maintain a sense of calm amidst the chaos. Without the stress of a packed schedule, endless school paperwork, and the pressure to remember parties and gifts for teachers, my anxiety significantly decreased. I had more time and energy for exercise and personal pursuits, making great strides in addressing my trauma and mental health challenges.
Of course, it wasn’t without its difficulties. Having the entire family home at once posed challenges, but since my husband already worked from home and we employed a nanny, our pandemic experience wasn’t drastically different from our typical routine. I understand that for many, the changes were abrupt and disorienting, depriving them of essential social interaction and stimuli—just as introverts and those with special needs often feel deprived of the quiet they require.
For now, homeschooling has proven effective for us, and we plan to continue. My child still engaged in virtual schooling will likely return to in-person classes this fall. I recognize the privilege in having such options, which is why I advocate for all families to have access to educational experiences that suit their unique needs. I want public schools to provide flexible options so that educational choices are not dictated solely by financial ability or personal preference.
While many children thrive in traditional schooling, not every child benefits from spending eight hours in a classroom. Some kids need to be active, to interact, and to explore subjects at their own pace. Others can efficiently complete their schoolwork in a few hours and then gain valuable life skills working part-time.
When people insist that kids must return to conventional schooling, it frustrates me. Such statements overlook the many children who are ill-suited to the traditional educational system. I’m concerned that schools will revert to old ways, rescinding vital accommodations made during the pandemic and forcing all students back into the same mold.
Schools have made strides in recent years, striving to offer flexibility for those who need it. I’ve witnessed this firsthand. However, they can improve even further. For many of us, the past year brought forth a glimpse of what education can be. I want to ensure that we maintain that progress, advocating for workplace flexibility and alterations to the school day to accommodate those who cannot pursue homeschooling. These changes are significant, but we’ve already begun to implement them, and I believe we can collaborate to create options that cater to all families, ensuring the support structures are in place.
Let’s not forget the lessons learned during this time, and let’s not allow those who are different to continue struggling alone.
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Summary:
The traditional school system can be a source of stress for many children, especially those with unique needs. While the pandemic led to necessary adaptations in education, it also highlighted the importance of flexibility tailored to individual learning styles. Many families have benefited from exploring options like homeschooling, which can alleviate some of the pressures associated with conventional schooling. Advocating for continued changes in education is essential to ensure all children receive the support they need.