My Daughter Expressed a Desire for a Belly Like Mine

The other day, while I was getting changed, my daughter walked in on me. This happens often, but on this occasion, she was curious. “Why does your belly look like that? It’s round and has marks on it. Do they hurt?” Initially, I felt a twinge of disappointment that she had noticed my body was different. I had hoped we could avoid that discussion for a bit longer. I explained that my body changed because I became a mom and gave birth to her. But she wanted to know more about my stretch marks. So, we explored the topic further, discussing how bellies expand to accommodate growing babies and how stretch marks are common, even for those who haven’t been pregnant.

Then she said something that took me by surprise: “I hope my belly looks like that someday. I want to have babies too.” Here I am, wishing I could change my appearance, and she admires me just the way I am. She doesn’t perceive my body as I do; through her innocent five-year-old eyes, I am simply her beloved mom.

A Child’s Perspective

Children have such a different perspective on the world. They don’t judge friendships based on race, skin color, or sexuality—they simply see friends. They are unaware of the complexities of religion, politics, or other divisive issues. Instead, they focus on what brings them joy and makes others smile. A child’s view of bodies isn’t about being thin or fat; it’s about love. As a parent, I know it’s my responsibility to instill values in my children. They will model my behavior, so I must show them the importance of treating themselves and others with dignity and respect—which means I must do that for myself too.

If I claimed to love my stretch marks, I’d be untruthful. I’m not fond of my dimples, loose skin, or wrinkles either; I often miss the youthful body I once had. Yet, the changes in my body are not a result of neglect or self-loathing. They are a testament to something profoundly beautiful.

The Miracle of Motherhood

The miracle of nurturing a human being within our bodies is extraordinary. Yet, how often do we take a moment to express gratitude for our bodies? I know I don’t do it enough. But we should. Those bellies we criticize as too jiggly or stretched out are the very places where our babies grew and prepared to enter this world. Our legs have supported us through exhaustion, our arms have cradled and comforted, and our hands have changed diapers and washed away the dirt of a day filled with play. We’ve run our fingers through messy hair and traced the faces of sleeping children. Our lips have wiped away tears and blown bubbles to spark joy in our kids.

We need to actively remind ourselves to be thankful for all these functions. We should appreciate our bodies and everything they have achieved, and treat them with respect. While this sounds straightforward, we know it’s often much easier to criticize ourselves than to recognize our worth.

And we are worthy. Our bodies are resilient. They’ve made us mothers, providing everything needed to nurture and grow another life. Though we may not resemble our pre-baby selves, we must not diminish the significance of our bodies and their accomplishments.

Setting an Example

My daughter is blissfully unaware of the future—a child with her whole life ahead of her. One day, she may want to become a mom. I can see her nurturing side already; her treasured baby doll, Lucy, is cared for just like a mother would care for her child. I hope that when the time comes for her to experience motherhood, she will appreciate her body for all it has done. I want her to love herself and not long for a different shape. To achieve this, I must set the right example.

I want her to understand that I appreciate my body for the miracles it has produced. I am grateful for hips that have widened to carry a baby and for breasts that have nourished four little ones. My stretch marks are gentle reminders of my pregnancies and the joy they brought. The fine lines on my face reflect not just worry, but the countless smiles and laughter that motherhood has blessed me with. My body has served me well; it may not be perfect in appearance, but it has fulfilled its role beautifully.

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In summary, my daughter’s innocent admiration for my body has prompted me to reflect on the importance of self-love and appreciation. As a mother, I strive to set a positive example for her, demonstrating that our bodies, despite their imperfections, have done remarkable things. Ultimately, it’s essential to cultivate gratitude for the experiences and joys our bodies have provided us.