I Shared a Paddle Boarding Photo and My Friends’ Reactions Took Me by Surprise

Reaching the age of 50 can be a rude awakening. If you’re like most people — and not excessively optimistic — you might find yourself feeling a bit down. Regrets from the past resurface, old injuries become more pronounced, and you can’t help but obsess over your retirement savings.

However, there are some perks to hitting the big 5-0, primarily the carefree attitude that comes with it. You stop losing sleep over dramatic friendships, feel no guilt in turning down invitations, and enter a phase where society largely ignores your looks. Or so I thought. Hi, I’m Jamie, I’m 50 years old, and I experienced body-shaming on Instagram for having notably large breasts.

My Encounter with Body-Shaming

My first encounter with body-shaming at 50 occurred last Monday, but let’s clarify a few things first. Yes, my breasts are natural. I didn’t choose this, and yes, I’m aware of their size. No, I don’t know the reason for their continued growth (weight gain only accounts for part of it). Yes, I dislike them and have consulted three different surgeons about a reduction. One quoted me $40,000, another said I was too heavy, and the last one just gasped and said, “You need to fix this ASAP.”

Despite this, I still venture out into the world, go on dates, and wear push-up bras (because minimizing ones make me look like a penguin). I love swimming, which is why I eagerly took a day off to paddle board with my old friend, Jake, who I hadn’t seen in 35 years.

It was a fantastic day. I eventually mastered standing on the board, and Jake was an encouraging instructor. We enjoyed watching pelicans up close and listened to children giggling as they splashed into the water. Afterward, we lounged on the beach, where Jake shared heartfelt memories of his daughter who passed away from cancer six years ago, and I opened up about my own heartaches. Sandy and sun-kissed, we wrapped up our day with delicious pork belly banh mi sandwiches.

Sharing My Joy on Instagram

On a high note, I shared a photo of myself on the paddle board to Instagram when I got home. I used — or rather, used to — Instagram as a personal digital scrapbook: showcasing my rescue dogs, half-finished artwork, hikes, beach days, and moments with old friends. I have no brand to promote nor a cause to advocate, just a simple collection of memories.

So, it never crossed my mind that posting this photo would lead to my first experience of body-shaming. My friend Mark later told me I was naive for not anticipating the backlash, but to me, it was just a snapshot from a joyful day.

Initially, the comments were mild, starting with “Well, you certainly won’t drown, babe.” But things escalated quickly. My friend Lisa, who I previously thought was supportive, wrote, “I’m glad SOMEONE said something,” accompanied by laughing emojis, as if I’d done something wrong. My other friend, Tara, chimed in with “LMFAO!” and her own quip, “WHY DO THEY KEEP GROWIN’?” complete with more laughing emojis. The hashtag #Melontitty became a crowd favorite.

I attempted to defuse the situation with light-hearted comments ranging from “Hush” to “You do realize I didn’t choose this, right?” But it was like tossing a pebble into the ocean; the comments kept flowing. They seized the chance to remind me that my breasts were “too big.”

Reader, I cried. Not only was I confronting a part of my body that I already despise, but the comments made me feel as though I had broken some unspoken rule that everyone else was aware of. I thought I was merely sharing a photo of me enjoying the sun on the water. Yes, I know I may look silly, but I didn’t expect others to point it out.

The Double Standards of Body Image

With the rise of the body-positive movement, had I posted a photo celebrating a larger body, I might have received a flood of “You go girl!” comments. If I had shared a snapshot in a bikini, showcasing my friend Lily’s scars from a failed surgery, I could imagine a chorus of “Fun in the sun!” comments.

But large breasts remain a taboo. They are often associated with sexuality and objectification, making them a no-go zone for public admiration. Despite any progress we think we’ve made, we still live in a society that is deeply puritanical — at least my Instagram followers seem to be.

I don’t want to navigate a minefield of unwritten body standards. I simply want to document my life on Instagram, but after this experience, I’m done. Mark argued that I should have been prepared for the onslaught and suggested I shouldn’t quit Instagram but rather “be less bold.” His interpretation of “bold” means not showing my body or opting for long-sleeved shirts while paddle boarding.

No thanks. I refuse to expend any energy determining what is considered “bold” versus “less bold.” I won’t engage with a system that penalizes me for my natural body.

Finding Comfort in Unexpected Places

Days later, still feeling emotional, I shared a meme on Instagram that read “Pause,” overlaying a tranquil ocean wave. I explained in the comments that Instagram no longer serves my needs. I’ll miss the recipes and heartwarming dog photos, but I can’t have it both ways.

Then, as I lay in bed, still feeling upset for reasons I couldn’t fully grasp, my new rescue dog — whom I’d begun to doubt I could handle due to his timid nature — jumped onto the bed, snuggled up to me, and pressed his cheek against mine. That moment solidified our bond.

I no longer cared that he may not be the adventurous companion I envisioned. True friendship means you can express your vulnerabilities without facing ridicule. If that kind of companionship comes from a dog without an Instagram account, then so be it.

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Summary:

At 50, Jamie Parker shared a paddle boarding photo on Instagram, only to face unexpected body-shaming from her friends due to her large breasts. Despite her attempts to brush off the comments, she felt hurt and isolated by their remarks, highlighting societal double standards regarding body image. After reconsidering her presence on social media, she found comfort in her new rescue dog, realizing that true companionship doesn’t require validation from others.