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In just a week, my daughter will be graduating from high school. This milestone is significant for her, and as a mother who often worried whether this day would come, it carries immense meaning for me too.
Since she entered sixth grade, she has faced academic hurdles. In ninth grade, her struggles intensified, leading to two suspensions for using substances on school grounds. By her sophomore year, she seemed to be losing hope; I received countless emails from her teachers expressing concern about her lack of effort.
I found myself constantly on her case, and it felt like I was doing everything I could to prevent her from failing. I mistakenly believed that her lack of motivation stemmed from apathy, but eventually, I realized that my over-involvement was counterproductive. Rather than encouraging her to be independent, I was fostering dependency, leading her to think I would always rescue her when things got tough.
One day, after returning from shopping, I found her tinkering with her bike instead of tackling her homework. That was my breaking point; I told her, “I can’t keep doing this. If you’re okay with repeating the 10th grade, then that’s your choice.” I assured her of my love and support, but emphasized that she had to take responsibility for her education.
In hindsight, I pondered what I could have done differently. She had been working with a tutor who pointed out that she needed to exert more effort than many of her peers just to pass. As a result, she often felt overwhelmed and wanted to spend her time on activities other than schoolwork.
I reflected on my own experiences with challenging tasks and how long I would stick with them before giving up. For many kids like my daughter, sitting still in a classroom is torturous; they thrive on movement and hands-on activities. She learns best when engaged in creative, tactile tasks rather than passively absorbing information.
There are countless kids like her; academic work doesn’t come easily to many. It’s a daily battle. During this season of awards, honors, and graduations, we must also acknowledge those who have worked just as hard, if not harder, than those receiving accolades.
Certainly, achievements such as graduating at the top of one’s class should be celebrated. However, we must also recognize the average students who have fought through history classes and struggled with subjects like spelling. They deserve praise for their perseverance.
A simple “Congratulations” to a child who completes the school year—regardless of their grades or awards—goes a long way. We should cheer even louder for those who don’t graduate with honors, as they likely faced many days of self-doubt and frustration.
My daughter managed to pull herself together and will receive her diploma, but it was a long and challenging journey for her. She completed a task that felt insurmountable, often struggling to comprehend what was taught in class.
Not every child learns the same way, nor will all excel in school. Many may feel inadequate due to low test scores or a lack of awards. As parents, we have the power to change this narrative. Let’s remember to tell them they’ve done well, that completing month after month of school is a significant achievement. We should express our pride without questioning their grades or study habits.
Make sure they feel valued just as they are—because they truly are enough.
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