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During a recent trip to my parents’ home, I overheard my eight-year-old daughter, Emma, advocating for herself with her grandmother. All four cousins were busy crafting cardboard box boats to race down the river. However, Grandma had declared that only the older kids, aged eleven and up, could use box cutters, directing the younger ones to stick to paper and tape.
“I can use box cutters!” Emma insisted, her voice filled with determination.
“Are you sure about that?” Grandma replied, uncertainty clear in her tone. “I’m not so certain…”
“Yes, I am!” Emma affirmed.
My mom turned to me, curious. “Is that true?”
“Absolutely,” I confirmed, “She’s quite skilled with box cutters.”
My mother raised her eyebrows, giving me a look that suggested I might be a reckless parent. I promise, I’m not! Emma truly is adept with box cutters. I’ve hosted at least two birthday parties themed around building cardboard forts, and she and her little brother, Max, frequently engage in creative projects using boxes and box cutters. One of their favorite pastimes is transforming items from the recycling bin into unique crafts.
“Max can use them too,” Emma chimed in. Max is six, but he’s already crafted a “pizza box dinosaur” by following a tutorial online, showcasing his ability to handle tools safely.
Although my mom relayed the news to the other kids that they could all use box cutters, she still wore that concerned expression, as if any injuries would be my fault. Thankfully, no one got hurt, and the cardboard boat race was a great success.
I might be seen as a permissive parent, but my approach is intentional. I believe in the Discovery method; I teach them how to use tools safely, then let them explore creative possibilities. If crows can utilize tools, so can my children! They often come up with unexpected and imaginative solutions. I prioritize their safety, but I also recognize that complete safety is unachievable and, quite frankly, undesirable.
When Emma first asked to use box cutters, I considered the risks: Yes, she might cut herself, but no, she likely wouldn’t cut off her fingers. While there is an inherent risk with sharp objects, avoiding all chances of minor injuries would delay her learning process. A little scrape is a small price to pay for building her confidence and competence. She needs to climb trees, jump off diving boards, and learn to cook—these experiences are essential for her growth.
Emma has been using real scissors since she was two and box cutters since she was six. Yes, she has had a few cuts here and there, but when she does, she simply goes for a band-aid and continues with her plans. A small injury doesn’t derail her creativity. Max, on the other hand, has had assistance using the blade until recently, as he tends to be more reckless, but he is also learning.
Both kids have used hammers, saws, knives, hot glue guns, and even the stove. They ski, ride bikes, and partake in all the typical childhood activities. It’s vital to balance the need to protect them from potentially dangerous situations with the understanding that they must experience some risks to learn. Yes, it may hurt at times, but these experiences provide a framework for understanding consequences and safety.
For instance, when Emma crashed her bike riding down a hill, she cried, spat out some dirt, but got back on her bike and rode home. Max fell from a tree trying to swing like a monkey; he got winded but climbed back up again. I want my children to be safe, yet I also want them to develop skills and the ability to assess risks. I can’t shield them from everything, but I can teach them how to handle challenges.
As I write this, they are in the playroom using a hot glue gun to create snow globes from empty jam jars. Yes, they know to unplug it when they’re finished. This morning, they sliced their own bread and scrambled their eggs for breakfast.
Every activity has some level of risk, but when managed properly, the positive outcomes far outweigh the negatives. I refuse to wrap my kids in bubble wrap; they can handle getting their own band-aids when necessary.
If you’re curious about other parenting strategies and methods, check out this blog post for more insights. If you’re considering starting a family, Make a Mom offers valuable resources on home insemination kits. You can also explore CDC’s data for detailed information on pregnancy and fertility.
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In summary, I believe in allowing my children to explore and learn through hands-on experiences, even when it involves potential risks. While safety is a priority, I want them to develop skills and learn to navigate the world around them. Their independence and creativity are nurtured through these experiences, and I am proud of their growth.