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“Mom, it’s about to start!” My 14-year-old son, Jake, calls from the couch, where he’s cozied up with our dog beneath a large blanket, a routine he’s maintained for hours every day for the past year.
He wasn’t always this glued to the screen, but then the pandemic changed everything. My partner, Mark, took a break from work; my daughter, who’s a college junior, and Jake, a freshman, returned home, while my youngest wrapped up seventh grade through Zoom classes. In those early, uncertain months, the usual rules faded away. Television became our family’s shared escape.
Initially, I resisted the increased screen time. While I grew up in front of a television set, my comfort level wasn’t high. Our old, tiny set was kept in a chilly room off the kitchen; when shows like “Wonder Woman” or “60 Minutes” aired, we’d pull chairs from all over the house to gather around it like a campfire. I found more joy in books: By age five, I was captivated by the magic of reading independently, often losing track of time. With a book in hand, I could escape reality whenever I desired.
Mark and I come from different backgrounds concerning screen time, but we both value science. Research indicates that young children who watch limited educational television can develop cognitive skills, while excessive viewing (and reduced reading) correlates with lower adult I.Q. scores. As parents, we understood the need to limit screen time outside of “Sesame Street.”
Even now, we have just one television in our home, and our only gaming system, a dusty Wii, rarely gets used. Typically, weeknights were reserved for homework and family dinners. On weekends, our kids could watch shows or movies, but the content had to be suitable for our youngest, who is eight years younger than Jake. The three of them would nestle on the couch, while our dog took her place on the rug below.
Then came 2019.
We started watching during dinner, binging on entire seasons of “The Office” and “Freaks and Geeks,” paired with comfort foods like lasagna and lentil soup. The dog joined us on the couch. Whenever I fretted over the potential negative effects of all that screen time, Mark would cite a NIH-funded study suggesting that screen time isn’t inherently bad for kids. The main downside, he said, was that it could inhibit them from engaging in other activities like playing outside or sleeping—similar disadvantages apply to children who read extensively.
Still, my concerns lingered, especially regarding Jake. Eventually, the older two returned to college, while he was stuck attending school from his bedroom, with the shades drawn and his camera off. He managed to keep his grades up but stopped participating in electives, including music, which he had adored since he began playing the trumpet in sixth grade. For the first time, Jake found himself failing a class: a PE course renamed “Walking for Fitness,” which he refused to engage with outdoors.
We tried giving Jake vitamin D, but his complexion grew paler. He wore the same hoodie daily and framed his eyes with dark eyeliner. Clothes piled high on the floor, and dishes accumulated on his bedside table. This was more than teenage defiance; in a chaotic world, Jake was asserting what little control he had.
I understand that as parents, we aren’t meant to swoop in and fix our children’s problems. However, even before the pandemic, suicide was the second leading cause of death for children aged 10 to 14. While I didn’t believe Jake was suicidal, I worried that his self-neglect might spiral into self-harm: current estimates suggest that 20% of American teens are depressed, with up to 30% of adolescent girls reporting self-injury. Once, while he slept, I checked Jake’s arms for scars—thankfully finding none.
Experts advise empathetic communication, but Jake wouldn’t open up to me (or a therapist). Whenever I urged him to meet up with friends, he became overwhelmed with anxiety. I kept thinking that if I could just get him to take better care of himself, he would feel better. So, I nagged about his lifestyle—his missed opportunities outside instead of scrolling through TikTok or tending to a virtual garden. Our arguments escalated.
Then, a few weeks ago, Jake and I stumbled upon “Stranger Things.” Or rather, I discovered it—he had already binge-watched the first three seasons on his laptop. I typically avoid stories involving missing children, as they strike a terrifying chord. However, he wanted to recap it in anticipation of the fourth season and asked me to join him.
With Mark back at work, Jake and I settled on the couch together, consuming 25 episodes in just one week. Without revealing any spoilers, the show follows a group of kids navigating the treacherous trials of adolescence as they battle supernatural threats against their friends, families, and community. As the series progresses, the characters undergo significant changes, mirroring Jake’s own transformation over the past year.
Much like a gateway to the “Upside Down” that the characters access, the show became a bridge connecting me to Jake’s world. Perhaps it wasn’t so bad spending those evenings together, captivated by a drama we both could relate to: a plague affecting a community, with dark undertones. Side by side, without direct eye contact, we discussed everything from first crushes to world-endangering contagions reminiscent of COVID-19. After months of physical and emotional distance, the thrilling scenes provided me with the perfect excuse to pull him close.
It didn’t change overnight, but that week marked a significant shift. I began to ease my worries about Jake in his dimly lit room, and he started to open the shades. He agreed to masked outdoor hangouts with friends and even shared his playlist during car rides.
The new teaser for “Stranger Things” just dropped, and we’re eagerly awaiting the fourth season together. Because in the end, the heroes always prevail. And right now, those are the kinds of odds we all need.
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Summary
In a heartfelt reflection, Jessica recounts her experience of bonding with her teenage son, Jake, through the popular series “Stranger Things.” Amid the challenges of the pandemic, their shared viewing experience became a therapeutic outlet, allowing them to reconnect during a difficult time. As they navigated the complexities of adolescence and isolation, the show served as a bridge for communication and understanding, highlighting the importance of shared experiences in strengthening family bonds.
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Keywords: Stranger Things, parenting, teenage mental health, family bonding, pandemic challenges