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With my birthday approaching, I’m filled with anxiety—not because I’m getting older, but because I anticipate my ex will find a way to make it unpleasant. He did the same last year and made holidays like Christmas, Mother’s Day, and both kids’ birthdays awkward and stressful since our divorce. He always manages to disrupt what should be happy occasions.
Yes, I’ve established boundaries; it’s essential for me. I strive not to be walked over. Yet, despite my efforts, he still finds ways to provoke me. For instance, one of my sons recently had a birthday while he was with my ex. He invited me over for cake and ice cream, which seemed friendly at first. But it was a trap.
I knew he would unleash passive-aggressive comments during my visit. I could have skipped it, but then he would tell our kids and anyone he could that I chose not to see my child on his birthday. There was no way to avoid emotional turmoil regardless of my choice.
Naturally, I wanted to celebrate with my son, so I went, preparing myself to remain dull and unresponsive to deny him the pleasure of my reaction. The evening wasn’t the worst, but it drained me to hold back from responding to his digs: “Have you put on weight?” and “Do you ever cook real food for the boys?” and “Your job doesn’t pay much, huh?”
I forced smiles and nods, focusing solely on my sons and leaving as soon as I could. The next day, I got an email from my ex thanking me for coming over. If you’ve dealt with someone like him, you understand his motives. He’s careful about his written words, ensuring there’s a record of him being the “great guy” while subtly painting me as a neglectful parent.
He often messages me about the boys’ needs, as if I’m not already managing everything. I was the stay-at-home parent, taking care of all their needs. His lack of involvement was a significant point of contention during our marriage.
It’s been over two years since our divorce, yet he still harbors resentment towards my decision to live without him. I’ve been dating someone for a year, which he refuses to acknowledge. His passive-aggressive behavior taints every interaction. He even reaches out to my friends and family to portray himself as the nice guy, resulting in a few friends ghosting me after falling for his tricks.
So yes, I’m apprehensive about what he will do for my upcoming birthday. Special occasions fill me with dread, knowing he will do everything possible to ruin them, regardless of my boundaries. I feel stuck in a situation where I have to balance limiting our interactions while not appearing difficult or uncooperative.
When we first divorced, I thought I’d eventually stop caring about his opinion. I imagined I would laugh off his jerkish behavior. Yet it still affects me. While I’m grateful I don’t live with him anymore, his bitterness lingers like a tiger poised to strike. I’m exhausted—so exhausted. I just want this to end. I wish he would move on already. It’s been years, and his relentless negativity wears me out.
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Summary:
The author expresses frustration about their ex-partner’s ongoing bitterness and attempts to sabotage special occasions, despite having set boundaries. The emotional toll of navigating interactions with their ex is highlighted, as they struggle to maintain their composure during encounters that should be joyful. The piece conveys a deep desire for closure and an end to the negativity that lingers after the divorce.